I am wondering if I should say anything about my WH and his A to any of his family. He would problably blow up if he knew that I told them. It's also kind of embarrassing since some of them said to me "does he have another woman" and I held up for him. Everyone else saw the signs but me.
I am trying to stay away from LBs, but don't know how to ask anything of him without him blowing up. I don't want to set this back any. I want to say, are you seeing her tonight? Our anniversary is next week. I also found out her birthday is a couple of days after that. I would like to keep him away from her then. Any thoughts?
Started on an anti-depressant today, just can't cope with all the mixed up feelings. This site has been the best thing that's happened to me since I found out about the A, along with the book SAA. But I still need answers!
Would it do any good for me to go to a marriage coucelor on my own? Would they be able to help me thru some of this? My WH has already gone to counseling with me 3 times, but I don't know if that councelor was the right one. Thinking about changing councelors. Help - I feel like I'm drowning and don't know how to swim!

Is he still in his affair?

It would be very good to shine light on the affair. Tell everyone. But not in a vengeful way. Tell them that you would like to save your marriage, but the affair is in your way.

Yes, counseling alone would help you.

Yes, I believe he is still in the affair. I have no way of knowing what he is doing. He has an apartment in a town 60 miles from here. The OW works in the same building he does. I've snooped to some extent, but don't know what else to do but wait. His attitude has changed a lot towards me, in a good way, but other than that I have no clue. He also volunteers for a local law enforcement agency. He said this weekend that if I really wanted to get back at him I could tell them about the A. They would fire him - they feel that way about immoral and illegal goings on. I don't know if I should call up everyone and tell them. Our friends that do know stand behind me - want to see us together. Is this plan A? Waiting? I'm afraid to have hope.

The point of telling people about the A is to apply pressure for the A to end. I wouldn't tell his job and I'm sure you agree with that.

I would tell family members and also try to get more information on the OW. There's no reason why the OW should be allowed to continue as if there are no repurcussions for her actions. Being a homewrecker isn't something people tend to admire.

Have you tried contacting the OW to confront her?
Does the OW know that you know about the A?

You are going to experience a wide-range of emotions, don't worry you wont stay in this mode long. Shock turns to hurt, turns to anger, turns to hurt, turns to resolve, turns to hopelessness turns and turns and turns.

Has your WH made any indication that he's willing to end the A?

If he is determined to continue the A then you must start exposing right away. You cannot compete with the fantasy world he and this OW have conjured up inside their foggy heads. Exposing their dasterdly deeds plunges their deluded fantasy world into an inescapable reality full of repurcussions and morality.

Good luck

He's afraid to come home...everything might go back to the way it was before. I tell him I'm working on myself and my mistakes in this. Things will no go on as before. But this is what I am afraid to ask him. Has he made up his mind to end the A? Will he blow up if I contact the OW? Would that be a LB? How do I do all this? Snooping and spying is very foreign to me. I know where she works, I have also found out her address. But these questions are killing me. Is it too soon? I don't know! Just got the full confession last Friday, he's in love with her. He can be kind and gentle with her. Bla, Bla Bla! This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like I almost need someone to tell me what to do, what to say. Lost in a sea of turmoil. If anyone could help me out in this I would be forever grateful.

Oh, by the way. She does know I know. I sent her the same letter I gave to my husband. I said I would do everything in my power to reconcile the marriage, and I would wait as long as it takes. And now I think she is calling here and then hanging up. It's happened two days in a row when he was with me. Should I call her at work, send another letter? Thanks for any help