you said on the 'JL (again) please?' thread:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Please forgive me for overreacting to any of your responses in the past.

I cannot tell you what things were like with me, but just know that I think rock bottom is probably an understatement.

You and onlywords are very special to me. I have not really said that, but I really do feel that way.

Don't go away, I will need more "gentle" correction I know. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Pam,

No problem. I'm sure you were going through a very emotional roller coaster. From our seat it was just so frustrating to watch, but then when NCW went home to 'save the day' it was just an extremely satisfying, heart turning event.

Best of luck to the both of you. And we're all here together to learn and help each other through these troubling 'events'. Take care.

God Bless,
Rich

Thank you RH. I don't quite know what to say.

As you can see, my H is the extremely articulate one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

It is so early , and I am not anywhere near where I need to be.

But I am ready to take it one day at a time. One moment at a time. I remember many of the things onlywords said to me. It is a little cloudy from all that was going on inside me, but she really made a lot of sense.

Onlywords helped a lot. Please let her know.

I will be posting again, maybe just not so "out there." It is scary , you know. I was just trying to say what was going on because I thought it might help me come back to earth.

I am thankful God doesn't give up even when we may have decided at times to give up on ourselves.

I am ready to try again, and more for the right reasons this time.

Hope you and OW are doing well. She sounds like a super strong woman. Lots of wisdom there.

Blessings,
Pam

RAP,

I haven't had a chance to say "welcome back" until now...but have been keeping up with what's going on.
I just wanted to add, that as RH said, we really are in this together..."this" being life itself. We really do need each other to hold each other up and when one is hurting, we ALL do, because we have been there ourselves. To see another suffering brings back the pain we had to endure ourselves and it is as though we are all "one" with each other in this!
I think the best thing to come out of this so far for me is I have seen how "strong" I really am, even though I mostly don't FEEL that way! (there's that word again!)
And I remember well being EXACTLY where you are, and not just as far as having been in an affair is concerned! I have often felt like I was in a fog....confused, sad, lonely, agitated....about many things in life. This whole experience seems to be bringing a LOT of things into focus for me.
JL said something about "mid-life" crisis....that thought had crossed my mind too, and I believe there's probably something to that "hormonal" thing, though not the WHOLE story (certainly doesn't help though!)
I hope that when I say this, it doesn't discourage you in any way...but I still struggle some days with feelings about OM. Doubts and questions creep in, but the good news is that they don't disable me the way they used to. I really don't have everything figured out....I don't even feel like I'm close to that. Probably never will be. But what makes everything "ok" for now is knowing that we can help each other through this, one day at a time. That's all we have anyway, right? Today.

I'm really glad you're back....tell NC I totally enjoyed his analogy about the stomach flu....I could really relate because I had a case of it over the weekend. I got such a kick out of that one! He IS very articulate....one thing that strikes me about him, that I see coming through in his writing is that cool combination of common sense, logic, creativity, and passion...all wrapped together! It gives him "universal" appeal! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Take your time with everything...believe me, helping you helps me....I ain't above needing help, so I won't be going anywhere!

Julie

Thanks onlywords.

I don't want to be "weak" now. It is actually making me very angry at the moment.

Time away in Florida was so nice. Coming back was like having cold water thrown in my face.

I thought I was stronger, etc. The feelings(am beginning to HATE that word) have all come back with coming home.

One day at a time...you have really helped me in that. We are not there overnight. Maybe I did not get in this mess overnight either. Makes a lot of sense.

You are a blessing. If I ever sound weak, it is because I need to tell someone that I need HELP to think clearly. It is still all so new.

I am trying to quiet the questions. H has tried to help in this. It is just that he would never manipulate the way OM did, so he can't really understand the inner workings of that man.

Thanks for your enouragement. I understand that it will creep back sometimes. That is normal, I know. You have not discouraged me at all saying that. It is good to know we are all human in this.

We are blessed with wonderful Hs. I hope I can wake up to the full reality of what I have in the here and now. I am not there yet, but am trying to cut through the "fog" because I know the ultimate truth.

Blessings and so glad to talk to you again,

Pam