My WW has indicated that she definetely wants to separate and just like Harley -to continue the A. She will be moving halfway across the country to be with loverboy. I will have the separation papers later today for her review. She feels so guilty that she is basically giving it all to me.
We have been married 28 years and the A has been ongoing for 5 years. Needless to say I am devasted as well are our children(28,25&18). I have planned A as best I can to no avail. My question is this-how do you heal a broken heart and ever trust a woman again? I no I can't stop her but this isi the biggest mistake of her life.

You will heal and you will feel better in plan B.

I wanted to save my marriage very much. I did everything i could, read books, expose, plan A and nothing could stop the A.

Even now with plan B i feel as if he is drifting further away from me. WS was also doing a better non contact than i was. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You will be wondering if plan B will ever work for you in the first few weeks and months.

But i can honestly and absolutely guarantee you that after 6 months...you will find peace and you will no longer have that fear of losing WS.

Plan B is definately for BS. If the WS comes home then that is a bonus but if they dont then BS are to move on.

I dont want or miss WS as much i used to. They say you will eventually lose all feelings for WS when you reach the numb stage. That will probably be when you really dont care anymore.

I failed at my plan B in the beginning and keep breaking them because i still care and love WS so much. But as time goes by i eventually lose part of that care and love which allows me to do a better plan B.

Now i have gone weeks without talking to or seeing WS and the urge to contact is not even there.

I feel everytime i contact WS i get hurt, betrayed and confuse. After so much disappointments, you learn. This is why i no longer contact or want anything to do with WS.

Your heart will heal. Yes and yes you will learn to trust again. Remember there are many other persons who has the same values like us. It just so happen our WS did not have it.

Take care. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hopeful -

Get those papers signed. My WH and I had separation papers that he wrote up. The lawyer took so long (3months) to do them that my WH changed his mind, and refused to sign them.

If your wife leaves, it will be the perfect time for Plan B. Be sure to have a Plan B letter ready.

Has loverboy left his wife? If not, your wife may be in for a big surprise. I still think she will be back.

Believer-no he hasn't left his wife in fact he isn't be honest with her that he wants a divorce-imagine that-he is not being honest. Your right my wife could be hung out to dry.
As far as the separation papers they have not been signed-I hope to get a preliminary copy today so the WW and I can discuss and make whatever changes that are necessary.
Why do you think she will be back? She says "he is the love of my life and he loves me unconditionally-warts and all"

How many warts does she have? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Seriously, you have been married for a long time, and it is just a fantasy with OM. Wait till she shows up at his door.

Believer-she doesn't have warts at all but the OM is her old high school sweetheart. I knda think that adds to the fantasy don't you?
Even with the odds at 25% of succcess with this relationship she is going ahead with it. She doesn't seem to care how much this is hurting me or her children. Her 3 sisters which she was very close with are now not having anything to do with her. The only problem I have is-I love her.

Hopefulinnc,

I was away for 2 weeks and didn’t have time to read & post here regularly. I have catch up on some old posts today and I have just read how things are going since the last time I’ve post to you… I’m so sorry about the recent developments and you and your W’s separation. This is so sad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Might God give you strength and comfort you during this very difficult time… I will keep you in my prayers.

Blessings,
Suzet

My WW and I had a major honest discusion if you will last night. I Love Busted big time but it was honest anger. She is so confused right now. She blames me for everything that went wrong in our marriage. I told her that she had better be sure that OM is getting out on the same limb you are. He is prone to protect his [censored]. i know this wasn't plan a but damn it felt good to get some of those things off my chest. I apologized this morning and she said it was honest and everything you said was true. So maybe I didn't mess up to bad. What do I have to lose she has indicated that she was a separation so she can go live with him. I am feeling stronger today. I know that there are women out their that share my value of honesty and integrity and monogomy. Women who don't lie and cheat. I want one of those women in my life at some point.