Well we are trying a new MC today. Quite Frankly i am glad as hell she accepted my suggestion of going to a spiritually based counselor.

Like i said in previous post i was a pretty crappy husband and she just got tired and wants/wanted out.

Any suggestions on how to handle today shoud i let her get the most outta today and avoid any confrontational LBs to let the counselor hear my problems or discuss my issues also.

????

and to all who have been posting thanks a ton for your support

buffsco

buffsco that is great news..

thank her....tell her once thank you for doing this.....
and let it go...

buffsco I still think you yourself and the pressure and stress you feel will be better served if you quit putting so much pressure on yourself and the things you do for her...

It's difficult not to over analyze every spoken word every unspoken word and every gesture and facial expression from her...but it will fatigue you, set you back...and pull you down..

you have to fight that..
you have to release responsibility from her of your actions and do and give inspite of her response..

(let your new) counselor hear my problems or discuss my issues also.

LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS...
ZIPPPPP ITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

ARK

I'll Take that as a rule Ark I'll Zip me Lips and take the pounding lord knows to be honest I've bought it on my self for my past actions.

I think the hardest thing in all of this is when i sit here at work and think about her i know i love her and dont want to loose her then those negative thoughts creep in of her giving it all up and i feel like crap. I guess like her everything takes time and i have to remember that GOD has done this for a reason and he knows what he wants from us. I know what he wanted from me.
Wake up and be a Good Father and Husband.

buffsco - since you are now seeing a Christian marriage counselor, I take it that you and your wife are both Christians. That move to this counselor is very good and should be very helpful.

Also, understand that your wife IS in an Emotional Affair with this Other Man, and HE does not have your best interest at heart.

As such, be prepared for all the usual excuses and attempts to shift blame, etc.. You are correct that one of the end results must be total No Contact by your wife with the OM.

Continue with what you have begun to do, make the necessary changes within yourself. Adopt an attitude of servanthood toward your wife.

Also, if you'd like a couple of pamphlets that our MC gave us when we began counseling, email me at mbforeverhers@yahoo.com and I'll send them to you.

Here is the "bottom line" that you will likely hear from your counselor and that you both need to put into immediate practice....obey the Lord's commands regardless of how you are "feeling." They are not "suggestions," they are the commands of your Lord.

It's a tough and trying time and will likely have good days and bad days. Stay committed to the long haul and trust in God's promises. When the "tough times" hit, lean on Philippians 4:13; "I can do all things through him (Christ) who strengthens me."

God bless.