Okay, I think I know the answer to this but I have a new problem with OM and I'm curious if anyone else has run into this.

Little background... OM started as friend to W then wanted more, breakup, then became stalker, then EA, then breakup, then stalker, then EA that turned PA, then breakup, then stalker, then PA that turned violent. OR something like that. Anyway this is not your average run of the mill OM, this dude is not right. FWW owns her own biz that she has now sold so he can't bother her there, there has been NC between the two for about 6 weeks... but here's the problem, now he won't leave ME alone. Serious. He can't call FWW cause we've changed all phone #'s but my cell so now he calls me all the freakin time. Sometimes he calls to be evil, sometimes to be buddies!?!?! I guess. The other day he called me and tried to hook me up with some girl that he had there. How bizarre is that? At first I thought well that is better than having him continue to contact FWW or follow my children around which he has been known to do but now I'm not sure.

Any thoughts?

That's almost comical that he wants to be your buddy and hook you up with women at times. But, what I would do is put a restraining order on the nut right away. Then if he gets anywhere near you it's off to jail for him. In AZ it only costs 35 bucks to do and is easy. Consider yourself lucky that your OM is a complete idiot. I am sure your FWW sees that now. LOL

Hmmmm.

Did your wife send him a no contact letter following the last "break up"?

If not, perhaps that would be in order now to establish grounds for the next step - consulting an attorney to get a restraining order on him. The NC letter should come from both you and your wife and stipulate NC with any family member.

If a NC letter was written in the past that reasonably communicated that there was to be no contact with any of your family members, you may have a restraining order justification right now.

Then again, perhaps you don't need any prior requests for NC to make the case for a restraining order right away.

Of course, this doesn't mean he'll honor a restraining order, but if he doesn't, you up the ante the next notch and have him thrown in the pokey.

Disclaimer: I am not an attorney and this advice is based solely on what I might do if I could restrain myself from some vigilante fun.

In Arizona you can just go to court and fill out a simple form for a RO. No lawyer needed.

At this point we have a protective order, and a restraining order, followed by a no contact order. We've had him thrown in jail 5 times, four for breaking those orders and then there's the buglry case when he broke into FWW condo that she had when she left me. He got off of that with a suspended sentence by narcing out some of his friends for doing drugs. This guys a dandy.

I had an attorney tell me that he worked around liars everyday and that this guy was the most convincing liar he had ever heard. I also had a cop tell me that he was "Charles Manson like".

WAT to answer your question yes a NC letter was sent. This guy doesn't give up. Before we got all the #'s changed he would call sometimes and ask to talk to FWW like I would just hand her the phone.

FWW not having her business has really helped. I've read a lot about stalking and this guy fits the MO big time. He is a major loser who got his self esteem from my beautiful, succesfull W and he can't let that go. I think now that he can't reach her he still feels like "part of the family" so to speak by contacting me. They say that a stalker just wants some reaction from their victim and if it can't be positive they will settle for negative. I have to admit that it has been some entertainment for me to torment him when he has called but now I fear that I've simply kept the contact going. We are going to change my cell # today but I fear that that may lead to direct contact.

All joking aside this guy is capable of anything. He pulled a 9mm on me the first time I confronted him.

Oh well I appriciate the input. Always remember that it's A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!

Geez. He pulled a gun on you. If you don't have a gun you should get one at the house IMO.

Wow, this is WAY over our heads!

Don't know what to tell you.

GEEZ... WAT thanks for making me feel better. LOL!

Actually there are times I've felt in way over my head but I/we always seem to find a way.

An important note to our story is that we are moving out of state as soon as we finalize, okay find a house to W's liking. That should help big time.

Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!

It IS a great day to be alive!

Actually, I thought about recommending that you move, but you're smart enough to figure that out on your own and it's the ultimate fix, but not necessarily available.

But that ought to do it, huh?

If it's any consolation, an OM like that ought to represent the smallest risk of an affair relapse, assuming your wife sees him differently now.

E, Have I given these to you before? Stalking is a major problem, you need as much info as you can get your hands on so here's a start. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

This is a discussion forum where you might possibly get an immediate answer to your question. http://www.stalkingvictims.com/discuss/phpBB2/

There are TONS of resources contained in these addresses:

http://www.stalkingbehavior.com/

http://www.soshelp.org/

http://www.aware.org/booksnsites.shtml#Stalking.Sites

http://www.antistalking.com/resource.htm

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He pulled a 9mm on me the first time I confronted him.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Holy moly! The odds of this guy completly loosing it are huge! Personally, I agree with another poster who said you need to get your own firearm - but only if you KNOW you'd be able to use it.

I pray that you can move asap! Do NOT put it past this walking nightmare to follow you, though. Keep all ROs in place and DOCUMENT everything he does!

- Kimmy

Thanks KB I have lots of info and sites but not sure I've seen all of those. You are always helpful.

WAT... I hope your analysis of her chances of relapse are correct. I'd hate to think that I've gone through all of this to lose her now.

And while I'm sure half of you will think this is horrible... yes I do own a gun, okay maybe several and know how to use them, you know what they say you can take the boy out of the country but you can't take the country out of the boy. I have more than my share of cowboy in me.

Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yea, well, I was referring to a relapse with HIM!

No guarantees on a relapse with some other loser.

This is where you max out the love bank and NEVER let up, right?

WAT

Mr. E:

Stalking is a FELONY. Don't mess around.

About 6 yrs ago, I was on a jury where we found a guy guilty of TWO felony stalking charges because he wouldn't leave his fomer gay lover alone. He didn't have a gun, either. He wasn't particularly violent, either, but they got in2 a scuffle one night that brought the whole thing 2 a head.

Collect evidence of the OM's violations of the restraining order and if he keeps it up, put the rat [censored] away!

Consider moving 2 Nome or someplace far away from the jerk.

-ol' 2long

WAT... I'm pouring it on and it gets better by the day. With a few minor set backs here and there.

FWW just really started getting into MB Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> And while I'm sure half of you will think this is horrible... yes I do own a gun, okay maybe several and know how to use them, you know what they say you can take the boy out of the country but you can't take the country out of the boy. I have more than my share of cowboy in me.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't think it's horrible - just make sure they're out of youn'uns hands. (I know you do - had to write it tho - it's the mommy in me) Information/education is the best defense against them touching/being fascinated by the weapons, imo.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> FWW just really started getting into MB </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm so glad! Doesn't it help your heart? It helps mine a lot knowing that my dh is finding his Way.

The path is not without divots or rocks, but it is such a wonderful place to be!

- Kimmy

My general story:
The skinny

Niosgirl, yes safety first that's what I always say.... okay maybe that was my mom but I am very safe with my guns and my children are very educated about them.

It's great that FWW is coming around to MB. They always tell you to not get preachy with WS about MB but when it is so important to you it's near to impossible not to. I actually over heard FWW tell her sister that MB had saved our M. WOW!!

Alwyas remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!