I recently found out about my H's possible affair. (We have been married for 10 years). He recently looked up an ex girlfriend, they have had lunches, OW told him she still has feelings for him- don't know what H told OW, they have called eachother (I researched the cell bill after I found out about their contact), gifts exchanged (from her to him is all I know about), etc. Many lies have been told about their relationship and amount of calls/visits/etc. H still doesn't know everything I know (H has an anger problem and I am afraid to tell/ask H questions). I can't prove an A happened, but I suspect. They agreed to call off their relationship since 2 families were hurt by the reestablished 'friendship' (supposedly she told her H about their relationship as well and he was upset). E-mails still take place- although I don't know extent (I have only been told about a few) and H doesn't call her with cell phone now that he knows the details come with the bill. We went into counseling with our pastor because of this and his anger. H has lied to our pastor about their relationship (but I proved privately with paper trails- cell phone bill, etc) so pastor knows I am telling the truth. I desperately want to talk to OM to see if he knows truth or details I don't know. I wonder if that would help me. If my H found out- I am pretty sure he would D me. I don't want to hurt the OM or anyone else- but I want the truth. Any ideas? Thank you.

There's no possible to it... that is an affair. At the very least it is an emotional affair.

Read as much as possible on the main part of this site. It will help you work through this.