Left this message for my wife this morning...

"The journey to enlightenment has many paths..."
"I believe this shared journey is not yet done. I'll forever hold the though that we were meant to undertake this journey together."

Trying hard to...Avoid being the cause of your spouse's unhappiness


My Saga

Sounds like a great message. Maybe it will get her thinking.

How are things going?

Hi Believer,

"How are things going?"
"A-wise", I really haven't a clue! Being Friday, WW is with OM (spends Thursday & Friday w/HIM)! So nothing really has changed there. For myself, I'm wearing out my copies of HNHN and SAA and deligently trying to implement the strategies presented.

WW is truly living two lives, one with me filling her LB$ and meeting her ENs, and one with HIM filling her LB$ and meeting her ENs. Her LB$ truly is overflowing! As is to be expected, I generally end up feeling VERY used by this, but try to ALWAYS present a strong and loving H to her. It's the "quiet time" (periods of introspection and self-evaluation) that is the hardest.

It really is as if she had two personalities...one for me (while she's in our home) and one for OM. The Love Bank is ALWAYS closed on Wednesday evening! She is very cold and distant (preparing herself mentally for her "other" life). Friday nights are also not good...she is still aglow from their "tryst" and is her cruelest at this time. As the week wears on, "the frost" melts until Wednesday when the cycle starts over.

I fully expect her to pack up and leave the first week in August. I'm waiting for the "numb" feeling to set in, anything to replace this pain and torment! I've experienced LOT's of pain in my life, but NOTHING COMPARES TO THIS...

<small>[ July 16, 2004, 09:40 AM: Message edited by: Ron53 ]</small>

God bless you, man. If you love her, stick to it. This fantasy will come to an end, they all do. Stay cool, and loving let her know you love her. When the fantasy comes to a crash, then you'll be the man she'll remember who was loving and is there for her.

Pray > pray > pray... It's the only thing that gets me through.

Well...

I feel I must share this with the "group"...Friday evenings are not ususally prime time for LB$ deposits, but God (and yes it could ONLY have been Him) whispered in my wife's ear and told her that "she would find her 'answer' when she got home."

It was not the "journey to enlightenment" which caught her eye, but my initial posts that had some how been left on the screen on our computer (I have no idea how this came about, nor will I question). She told me when I got home this evening that she had received the "answer" that she had been waiting for! SHE IS WILLING TO START OVER (I had previously told her that "trying again" wasn't going to get the job done).

At this point, I don't know who or what to thank for this, but as I fight back my tears, I DO WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR GIVING US ANOTHER CHANCE. I pray that our healing can be complete and that we can become the partner's I always believed we could be.

Although the road ahead will be rough and taxing (the confessions tonight were almost more than I could bear, but honesty IS being practiced finally - and healing can begin), I pray for strength for the two of us.

That which you believe, you can achieve. My wife and I will be living proof of this!

Ron: Great news, prayers have been answered!

Good luck and God Bless!
RH

Wonderful! I hope my husband and I will soon be joining you in recovery! God Bless You Both!