About two months ago, I suspected my husband of talking to another woman because I found a number and I didn't know who it belonged to. He chats on the internet so much, and lies about his identity. Well, I wanted to wait until our phone bill came in to see if this number would show up on the bill. I recieved the bill yesterday, and not to my surprise, there was the number and he had talked to this person for about 25 minutes. I confronted him about it when I went home after work, and he denied it. He said it was his friend's girlfriend's number. I told him why he was lying that I knew for a fact that he was, and then he finally admitted to it. BUT he not only admitted talking to her, he said he talked to three other women. That broke my heart. I ask him how he could do this to me, and what was I not doing that he had to go and talk to these other women. He said he was just doing this for fun. I'm hurting so much right now. What am I suppose to do? Could this have turned into a physical affair? What about my marriage? I'm so confused and don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

Sorry you have to be here. But, we're all here for the same reason you are. I'm sorry about your hurt > I have found out the same thing about my wife before and it hurt like #$#@. There's not another pain like it. Read up on the main home page about plan a and plan b. Also, read the book Surviving an Affair by Dr. Willard Harley. It will really help you.

Also, you need to find out what the whole story is if you can so you know what you're dealing with here. Get some spyware for your computer if you have to. It will tell you if he's messing around with this other woman and they will probably reveal what the nature of the relationship is. Do a search on spyware and you should find some either free or cheap. Get one that cannot be seen by other viewers.

Also, pray, pray and pray!

Stay on the board here and read the posts and post some of your own. It will help, I promise.

Out!

Thanks RWS,
What I know so far is that he talks to women from his buddy list and speaks to them about going over to their house, and he talks to them very sexually. The reason I know this is because I figured out his password for one of his messengers and I jumped on and activated the messenger archive. A few days later I logged in and found the conversations so I printed the conversations out. This is some of what was said....

To the first woman:
him "hi there, long time no talk"
her "hey baby, what are you doing? I miss you"
him "so do I. Where u at?"
her "home, i'm sick today"
him "can I come over"

He didn't go over because we live an hour away, so he decided to call her instead. What they talk about, I have no idea!

To the second woman:
him "hey baby, how are you"
her "good, so what ya doing?"
him "chilling, where u at home or work?"
her "home"
him "can I come over"
her "i will be the girl in the bed sleeping naked"
him "sleep with your legs open"

Then he went on about telling a sexual story.
What am I suppose to think? These women live about 75 miles away, but just the thought of him talking to her like this hurts tremendously.

About spyware, that would be impossible to put on the PC because my husband is very computer literate. He teaches computer courses, fixes computers, and builds them occasionally from scratch. If I even tried to put some kind of spyware I am more than sure he would find it. Thanks for the suggestion. I still don't know what to do?

This is one of the best, I'm told. Supposed to be indectable.

http://www.eblaster.com/

SD

Thanks shattered dreams!!

I went to the website and it looks like a great idea. I just have to save up for it now, but hopefully I can get it and it will work! Thanks again.

Husband decided to take computer apart to rebuild it, so I can't put the spyware I want on it. Guess I won't even try. Since I confronted him about the phone calls, he hasn't been chatting on the computer at all. Which can be a good thing. Also, He forgot our anniversary. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I cried, but what can I do? It really hurt my feelings. I had to tell him it was our anniv. day, and he said he forgot. We argued a little, then he started talking about us getting a divorce. He made a list of what I was to keep and what he would keep. I was heart broken. Can anyone offer any advice?

Butterfly, I feel so so bad for you. I know the pain of reading those kinds of messages.

My WW had an internet affair, (maybe two) last summer that I found out about. It stopped thank God, I should have paid more attention though. I thought it was just fantasy talk and not her looking to begin an A. We talked that summer about how dangerous it is to chat like that on the internet, how we can be sucked in. I thought she understood.

I found out in May my WW was at it again. Only now, with this man, she wants to divorce me. He is wonderful according to her. And she told me this morning that he wants her, she ridicules me to him.

Before she locked me out of her computer, I saw a few of her messages to him. It was heartbreaking to think, hell actually see, your wife talking like that to some other man. Comments like you saw were exactly on par.

In addition I heard a phone message too, before she hid that too. Actually sleeps with it under her pillow for the late night calls. (he lives three time zones away) The call came in at 4:00am our time. I have never felt so much pain as standing there in the kitchen, my legs actually shook.

My WW is very smug about it now. Like a satisfied cat.

I would not believe this to be innocent play, because even if it was-it will lead to the next level. 75 miles is nothing. My WW's OM flew here from vegas to sleep with her. I don't want to scare you but what you think is outrageous, is common practice for decietful WS.

Prayers with you.

Butterfly, the book The Divorce Remedy by Michele Wiener-Davis has a fairly substantial section on Internet infidelity. It's worth a read - check your library or get it from Amazon.

"Sleep with your legs open"? Show me one woman who is turned on by this! Bleh.

GC

GC, guess u never met my Wife. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Don't even read them!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Butterfly, Tom, your both lucky you can't see it anymore. It will bring nothing but pain. You know thy are having an A, what more do you want. Tom, your WW is smug about it! Don't even look.

I'm telling you this because I did and it was devastating. My WW talking dirty, she was making jokes about me, they were making jokes about our kids. Lots of kissy faces, and slurp slurp sounds. Uggggghhhhhh!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> It's too cruel for any loyal spouse to have to endure.

The person you pledged you life to, and her to you. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />