I've gotten use to WH calling or e-mailing almost every day. This week he came over for dinner on Monday and since then I have barely heard from him except for a few pretty short e-mails. I don't know why he is backing away or if this means anything.

He said he might stop by this weekend, but would call and let me know. I'm trying to keep busy and go out with friends but it's so exhausting right now. WH is coming to the sonogram on Tuesday to find out the sex of the baby. It just sucks that what should be a happy and exciting day will probably be just another horrible day.

Kloe -

It's good to see you on here again. I've wondering about you.

Is your WH still seeing the OW? I think you said he wasn't, is that right?

I have no idea if he is still seeing her. He lives with his Mom. He doesn't talk about it and I think he would like to give me the impression that he is not seeing her. I don't know if that is so he doesn't hurt me anymore or if it's because he isn't seeing her. When he was here on Monday he borrowed a bunch of DVD's, said there was nothing else to do at his Mom's house. However, he works with the OW so he still sees her there. I just have no idea. If he's not seeing her and still doesn't want to come home, does that mean it's over?

Kloe, you have so many opportunities to plan A like a madwoman. He's coming around. Count your blessings, and by god look try to forward to that sonogram.

Try to get with your friends this weekend. Even if it's just for a little bit, see if you can't trick yourself and say my sadness has been postponed due to summer.

Hang on to the good things. Think of your child and how lucky the child will be to have you for a mother, to be born into such good fortune.

GC

Listen to Gray and keep busy this weekend.

And no it doesn't mean it is over. Far from it!

I think your husband is suffering from some kind of depression. Maybe it's withdrawing from the OW, or maybe guilt because he can't seem to make a decision one way or the other to get back with you right now. He is going through something.

I know that you are following the MB guidelines and that everything is going to work out. You just have to hang in there until your baby is
born.

It seems like weekends are always the hardest, for me too.

Weav

kloe -

You cannot look at the day to day progress, you have to look at the big picture. It takes time to get through this.

You just have to keep on keeping on. Plan A the best you can, and try to keep busy.

This waiting and being patient is just so hard. What should be a wonderful and beautiful time in my/our life is ruined. I try to keep busy but I don't have the engery to go out all the time.

Good morning Kloe!

When I was pregnant and my X was running around on me, I thought the same thing. What should have been the happiest time in the world for me was ruined. The OW even called me at work to tell me she was making a baby quilt for me, here I was 8 months pregnant and that horrible person was calling me at work! Then she called me to tell me my X was cheating on her. I thought the whole world had gone insane.

This baby is going to change everything. A magical kind of happiness will come into your life and the pain you feel now will seem like a distant dream. You just have to get through these months.

Keep doing what you are doing.

Dear Kloe - I am so sorry you are in this situation, I agree with everyone else, it is good that your H is coming over and still emailing, that is all very encouraging.

Keep up the Plan A - try and be upbeat when he is around, I think it is good if you get out with friends too - try and keep busy and keep the stress in your life down as much as possible (better for the baby)

Good luck with the sonogram, let us know how it goes on Tuesday
Sandy

Well this weekend hasn't gotten any better. WH called early this evening while I was on my way to a movie to see if he could stop by to get his mail. He came and left while I was gone, and left a note that he would see me Tuesday at the sonogram. I guess he didn't want to see me at all this weekend. I guess I need to accept this is my life now.

Kloe -

This is not your life now. Only a nano second of it. Like someone else said, look at the big picture and do not get lost in the day to day bulls**t. It will only drive you crazy and depress you more.

BTW - good morning!

Weaver

Well tomorrow morning is the sonogram. I guess we'll see how he responds. He seems to be excited and looking forward to the baby but doesn't seem to realize everything that goes into it. Therefore, he gets to be there for the good stuff and I take care of everything else.

Kloe, it's good to hear from you.

Your H didn't leave a note that said, "I can't make it to the sonogram because I'm having drinks with OW?" did he? Maybe the message wasn't a dream come true, but if your situation is anything like the rest of ours, you could have done far worse.

You're just like me. You're waking each day hoping for change. I'll bet you saw that note and hoped it was something nice, then were terribly disappointed by how generic it was. I would have done the same. But I think I'm starting to learn my lesson. I now DREAD opening emails from my WW. The only time anything positive comes out of her is when I'm plan-A-ing her face to face. Do that when you can, and hope it has some influence over positive change. GLACIAL positive change.

Tonight it is likely that my WW is seeing OM, who she has not seen in a week. But I'll sleep anyway. What can I do? It has to play out.

I know my advice doesn't help you with any specific action and is just positive talk. But you truly do need to back away from the situation to have perspective.

GC

Gray - Thanks for the reply. I've been following your threads all weekend and praying for you. I definately see your situation moving in the right direction. You been patient for so long and have found the strength to continue Plan A through all this.

I know I am reading too much into this. It's just so hard not knowing if he is seeing her or not. And I assume that any change of behavior means that he is seeing her again. He hasn't given me any reason to believe otherwise. Plus when it gets like this, it is so hard to find the engery or inclination to do Plan A.

Hugs Kloe... Good luck tomorrow. I am so excited for you. Are you hoping for a girl or boy??? BTW how much weight have you gained? I only have gained about 4 pounds so far but these last 2 weeks I have really popped out. I still fit into my old jeans but they are so snug and uncomfortable so I am starting to wear maturnity clothes.

I know how hard this is for you. But you are also lucky your husband wants to go. My husband didn't really want to go making a excuse he can't take off anymore time at work. But friday he took the whole day off. He really isn't interested in the baby at all.

I don't have much advice for you just wanted you to know I will be thinking about you tomorrow. And to hang in there I think things will work out in the end.

Kloe, thank you for your prayers. You and all the other fine people here are doing something for me I can never repay.

By a change of behavior you mean him staying away all of a sudden, I take it. Yes, he might be seeing her. It. Has. To. Play. Out.

Good luck tomorrow at the sonogram. You and your child are going to have a wonderful life, and I hope your H is there to enjoy it with the two of you.

GC

SML - I've lost 19 lbs since D-Day but have held steady for about three weeks, so that is good. All my clothes still fit, I'd love to be able to get through the summer without having to buy new clothes since I have to get work clothes and that gets expensive. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just as long as the baby is healthy. I'm most looking forward to hearing that the baby is developing well tomorrow. Last time I was at the doctors he said the heartbeat was strong and the genetic testing came back fine.