Thank goodness your wife is smart NOT to listen to you right now.....

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My friend you are in NO condition to talk to her....

You are still to focused on YOU and her lack of meeting your needs...

say something that even resembles that sentiment right now in the game...and you'd do more damage than hitting yourself in the face with claw hammer...

you need to bring her gifts...

gifts of accountability
email her, send her all your passwords and total access of anything of yours...

get a new cell phone and give her free access...

tell her that if she has any questions you will answer them....

I am so very sorry about your daughter as well...I hope that you pusing to support her no matter the resistance...
walk the narrow line...

purge your thoughts right now dwelling on YOU....

read up on plan a..and see if you can't find tidbits of advice on how to reach out to her...

think unconventional.

ark

<small>[ July 18, 2004, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: ark^^ ]</small>

2scared,

Call Steve Harley for an appointment. He's good, really good. You will be soooo thankfull you did.

D.

2scared,
I am always SO impressed with ark's advice. It's always eye opening, even if it doesn't pertain to my own situation.

It's good you're finding some common ground. HOWEVER, don't fool yourself into thinking that because you have the KNOWLEDGE, you can control the process better.

Don't call OW, please give yourself time to go through the WD. I LOVE the letter idea, genius. That will speak volumes to your W.

I'm sorry you're alone right now, with all this guilt weighing you down, but stay strong, I believe there is definate hope for a great recovery in your future. Just don't do further damage.

Ark... Everyone... Thanks. I spent the day in prayer and reading. By last night I was able to compose a letter giving the gift of accountability (I didn't call it that). I wrote down all hidden things. email accounts and passwords, cell phone message codes..(I even turned back in a hidden second cell phone I had used to contact OW when first caught)...I had been holding on to it even after cutting off contact. I told her I would be 100% accountable. I would give her schedules, phone numbers, and even take her if I had to travel. I am implimenting plan A aggressivly...even if she doesn't care. I haved to become 100% transparent and accountable. Perhaps then she will BEGIN to respond. I plan on taking it to her...or emailing it. Not sure which I should do. Anyway, emailing would be less evasive and allow her privacy without a face to face meeting. Perhaps that would be better. I am in MUCH better spirts today. I took the day off work and went fishing with a male friend. I still am battling my own internal demons to try to find out how the OW is doing...I know... I won't, I am just battling the desire. How long does the tugging and depression last? The book says to expect 3 weeks...Is it more intense at specific times? Anyway, I am finally focused on winning back my wife. Well, that and changing my behaviors and heart.