Hey all,

I don't come round her much anymore... lots of stuff going on in my life, not to say this place hasn't done a lot for me, for sure.

Anyhow... my "first M" anniversary is July 17. After I got home tonight (16th), I received the following e-mail from XW:

Hi JR,

The pics that you sent look great. [I was out at Mt.Shasta on the 4th weekend. Sent them in response to a different message she'd sent me about some trivial things.]

I thought it was weird to let July 17th go by without acknowledging our anniversary. I hope that you can look back on that day as a good one. You are still a very special person to me, and I hope you are well and happy.

----

Let me say that I'm leaving things with her on as good as terms as I can, I'm not going out of my way to be her friend too much, but at the same time trying to be a little sympathetic for someone who is obviously not as happy as they'd like to be.

I could reply back in many ways - snide, ironic, neutral, ignore it, etc. I prefer to be "me" as much as possible... lately that probably means a bit cocky, a bit funny maybe, I don't know. Certainly confident, not smug.

Ironically, I'm kind of dealing with some complex relationship issues right now, a GF who on one hand says she's not looking for something serious, and on the other it feels like the opposite sometimes. We've had some conflict, and I *know* all the dynamics, rules, etc. that are going into it: I just find it hard to be anything but nervous and probably a bit selfish right now. But I'm dealing with it - I hope. It's all new ground for me, so it can only make me stronger.

In any case, what's with her and this anniversary thing? Seems a bit odd. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

It's called sentiment and regret.


Glad to know you're still alive and kickin JR!!! Things pretty much ROCK here as well. Lifes good when you're living it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi H4F! You're kicking too, obviously <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Sentiment and regret, eh? That blows chunks... Toss in the fact she wrote this at her work at 7:00 pm on a Friday. (Ok, who am I to talk, writing this at 8:15 pm on a Friday, babysitting my GF's cat?)

I'll be honest... after dealing with the R issues I've had to lately, I do kind of miss my old life. But it doesn't take much of a "reframe" to realize that it was pretty much a sham. However, I can be positive about it, based on my path through it, I guess.

Figured I'd bust on her mildly:

"Are we going to "acknowledge" our anniversary in 10 years when we're living God knows where with God knows who?? Probably confusing for everyone, not ashamed to admit for myself too!! It just seems a bit weird to me, maybe if it were for a different occasion, I guess - but thank you regardless."

<small>[ July 16, 2004, 11:31 PM: Message edited by: J.R. ]</small>

JR,

Guess she can still read a calendar and her memory is still working. This periodic moments of better times may still prompt her to put a jolt in your life once in a while.

Must be a side effect of the M. Somethings you just can't forget, no matter how much fog rolls in.

U take care and hope to see you and ??? on Aloha Saturday? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Hi J.R.!

I think the fog takes as long as it takes 2 clear. I don't rush it at my house, and it's clearing, but it's OBVIOUSLY going 2 take a long time before the sun pokes through.

For many people, it seems, it can't clear soon enough 2 be of much use. So with your xW. Weird about the anniversary wish, but I think H4F is right about what it signifies.

Good luck with the new R. Sounds like a... ...journey! Which is what we all get dealt, one way or another, anyway.

-ol' 2long