I have to say it is not easy, but it has gotten sooo much better I have been working on myself completely dedicated excersing(sp) weight training something I stopped doing yrs ago. I was so comfortable with the relationship (marriage) I let myself go and always put myself last now aside from my son being my #1 priority I'm my own #2 priority. I have been seperated from H for 8 months and have lost quite a bit of weight,brought a whole new wardrobe and I'm enjoying life. H is still frequently on my mind but not as much as before. I wonder what he would think if he saw me now. even my friends and family tell me how much I've changed not just physically but in everything they say I seem happier and calmer.so girls work on yourselves keep busy and things will fall into place get yourselves ready for whatever the future brings whether we are with our H or alone. just an update.....

destiny-I am going to br separated soon-in the next month or so and I am scared to death of life without my WW. I am also afraid of being lonely. How do you deal with it? My WW is going to live with the OM half way across the country so I won't have to see her and him together. I am feeling better about the separation because the affair continues and she is now quite blatant about it. The separation papers are being prepared now and I hope to get them sign soon like in the next two weeks. How do you survive day to day with them gone? My only problem is I still have very intense feelings for this woman even though she cheated and lied to me and my family.

It is only a fear of the unknown...Hopeful, I know you posted to Destiny, but I hope you don't mind my responding. As a career Plan B'er it seems (and a complete bad one at that according to those who know me), it is not easy, but as Destiny said, it gets easier. You must put yourself first and start doing things for "you". While it seems so incomprehensible at the moment, it works itself out. When you focus on yourself, there is less time to worry about what your wandering spouse is doing. Keep busy....no matter what, and it will (and trust me on this) work itself out.

Good Luck