Well, it's Monday evening. H said that he'd be home late Fri. or early Sat. Wanted to be here for son's 17th birthday, yesterday. Still no sign of him, no phone call, nothing. I'm about to REALLY LOSE IT!!!! I don't know what to do. Kids are not happy w/their dad,they feel he's deserted them and me. I don't know what to say. I'm so very tired of crying. I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

Just wanting you to know my heart goes out to you! I've been there with my WH, before he moved out. He'd leave on Friday morning to go to work, and I'd go nuts because I wouldn't hear from him again until Sunday evening. He carries a cell phone but would never answer it, and often I could tell it was shut off.

I worried about him dying in an accident, taking his life, and all sorts of awful things. The thing that people kept reminding me--if he carries ID on him (and I'm sure yours does, too), and heaven forbid, something awful did happen, you would be notified.

Breathe. Try to stay busy. Don't just sit and think. Physically force yourself to get up and move around. That, and my Bible reading and prayer, kept me going during the first months of this mess. It does get easier.

LL

Well hon, you have got to settle down. Go see your doctor and get some anti-depressants. It is very miserable when they don't seem to care about you or their family. But you need to take care of yourself.

I was just like you at first, couldn't sleep for months, and then had to go to work. Plus you are having to deal with your son.

You can go crazy, and cry, and beg, and it won't make any difference. So you need to formulate a plan for handling this.

Perhaps I should have started a new post entitled "ALCOHOL!!!!!". As a former bartender and once sane person, I know that the last thing I should be doing right now is drinking STRAIGHT LIQUOR, but guess what,this vodka and coconut rum sure is making me feel LESS PAIN at the moment, even though I still want to know where my H is. All I know right now is that it's 1:30 am and this is starting to gget kind of hard to take without some sort of distraction. Absolut and Bacardi sure know how to make it fade away, at least a little, maybe, I don't even know. My kids are gone to their friends, who knows where my H is at, and I really wish I wasn't sitting here right now.

hi lana. i've been following your posts and wanted to ask you how has everything else been going with him? other than him not calling you? did he ever admit to his indiscretion with your friend?

Hey shelley3
Yes, he admitted it, because there was no way around it. I cornered him with facts,WHILE he was in the middle of denying it, and let him know that he was lousy at lying. But, all that did was cause me to CONTINUOUSLY think that he may be with someone else, since I can't seem to FIND him, or get a call, etc. He's been doing these little "dissapearing acts" for SEVERAL months. I hope I'm spelling everything right, I'm kind of headed towards being quite drunk right now, and I'm usually the sober one,lol. Anyway, thanks for your attention and concern because if I weren't responding to your reply I would be pouring another drink. I'll probably end up doing that anyway if the boys don't get home soon to keep my mind off of my H and his lack of presence. I hope I don't sound sarcastic or rude, even though I'd really like to get like that right now, I don't want to take it out on you or anyone here. I think I'm just rambling now, I can't get a clear thought, I'm sorry.

i know exactly what u mean. since my h confessed what he did all i think is that he's with another woman if he doesn't answer my calls or if he stays out late. i want to ask all these people on this site "HOW THE HELL DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT!!!!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> because i'm having a hell of a time letting it go. i got angry 3 days ago because he told me he was coming home early that nite and he came in at 6 in the a.m. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . so i got pissed and threw all his crap out the back door and into the yard. he's on his way this way now to "talk" and i just don't know what i'm gonna say. wish i had some rum.