Hello I not to be english spoken very well, and am using an Internet translator, but they recommended this page to me.

I found out that my H was having an A with his ex wife for about 2 years ago, that I think off.

A bit of history. I met him when I was 15 years old, we were boyfriend and girlfriend for 3 years, and we resumed after 6 years. In the middle, he got married, but the married just lasted 1 month. Apparently his ex-wife was a lesbian, and he got M annulment by church. Then we resumed, and we M on 1999. Then on 2002 I got pregnant, and things went down after that. And he went to Mexico, and I think that is when the A started. I think, that the A must have been going on before that, but I have no proof of it yet.

Then I got pregnant again, when my oldest kid had 5 months old, and the trips continued. Then on May this year, I found out, because his behavior, and because my SIL, had the same thing, and I started to suspect because of all the red flags that were there.

Now we are in counseling MC, but he still denies the A <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . We are into it, because I went crazy, and that made me end in a hospital for over a week. As you can guess I gained many pounds with both pregnancies, and I stopped eating since I found out, my H had issues about my weigh before, and that let me to be anorexic in the past. I was following the same route again, but now with 2 kids, not good at all.

I don't know what to do, I depend financially from him completely and have 2 kids who I have to take care on. We are still together, but how can I go on, if he still denies the A???

I need help

Thank you for your support

Welcome to marriagebuilders. Start in Plan A. You can read all about it on the link in my signature line.

Stick with us, and we will help you through this.

First of all, don't let him make you feel like you're imagining the whole thing. This is something they often do.

Is he willing to live his life completely openly with you? I mean, will he give you the passwords for his email, tell you where he is all the time, show you his bank and credit card statements, things like that? Does he have to go on these trips away, or is there a way for him to stay home and help you feel more secure?

Ask your SIL if there's any way to tell how old that photo is. I don't know how that works with the memory sticks, but it's worth checking out.

And take good care of yourself right now. Exercise, eat right, and do things for yourself. Don't let this all put you in the hospital again.

Best of luck. We're here for you.

Dobie

Dear Mom,

I am sorry you are here because that means you are suffering from an A....but I am happy you are here for all the help everyone can give you as you work your way along this difficult journey.

I agree with Dobie....can your SIL tell the true age of the computer photo? is it a "whole" photo or one that's been pieced together?

Also, Believer and Dobie both gave you excellent advice. Post here often. Ask your questions. You will get good answers.

The first step in recovery is going to be your H's admitting to the A and his willingness to work from that point on....no more lies, no more hiding anything.

Take care of YOU....without strength and courage you can't stand for yourself and your boys. Ask your SIL, she is a fine example of learning how to become a strong and courageous woman.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Simmy

Hi Mom.
Welcome to the best place to get advice. It's too bad you need to be here but you came to the right place. I would say the same thing the others said, you must get him to admit to the affair. Then start with Plan A and really work on taking care of yourself. It's hard to not let the situation get you down but a positive attitude and frequent prayers really help. Putting your trust in the Lord takes a lot of pressure off of you. Be the best person you can be for yourself and your children. Your husband will notice! Also, if you feel yourself being depressed, ask your Dr. for an anti-depressant such as Zoloft. It takes the panic and despair out of the situation and allows you to think more rationally. I'm not a "medication" advocate but in this case, it is absolutely essential!
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hang in there and post here often. you are not alone in this.

Mom,

You have come to the right place. You will receive support, love and honest feedback on this forum.

I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation.

I would encourage you to take care of yourself. I don't know if you believe in God or not but I believe that God always shines light on the darkness of lies and deceit.

My prayers are with you. Big hugs to you!!!!!

Angelia