it's been a while since i have posted. ww and i are still to gether. she dosn't want to talk about it yet.
the weekend of the 4th of july i looked in the history of her laptop and found an e-mail adress i didnt know,a adress of a new account. the woman that helped us had told her to open an adress just in case we didnt work out.
the woman and ww both have told me this.

the woman that helped us ,i talked to her after i found the adress,told me to talk to ww so i did. at first she said that she didnt want to "do this again" i said that you have your problems and that i have mine. she finaly started to just talk to me.
she finaly told me that one of her bigest problems is after om quit the job,they worked together,and they told each other they needed to work on their lives apart that ther hasnt been any contact. but she still checks the other e-mail just to see.

my problem is why should she ,or should i let [sorry bad choice of words]her keep it. it only tells me that they are still talking.

if someone could give some advice it will be apriciated.
dmb1967

IMHO....this lady that helped you isn't helping you or your wife.

Telling your W to open a new address in case it doesn't work out between you two. How is that helping?

And how is it helping that she never bothered to maybe mention to your W that it's something that she should talk to you about first?

What I see is that this lady is helping your W...possibly enabeling an open connection to the OM...that's what I see.

This lady needs to be out of the picture along with the OM.

Should you ALLOW your W to have this address?

If she is committed to saving your marriage and rebuilding it then she shouldn't have a problem with getting rid of it.....BUT.....you can't tell her what to do....or control what she does.

I think your biggest problem is this other lady that is supposedly helping you and your wife.

I concur with MP.

WW is addicted. Plain and simple. Telling her to drop the account will be a LB. Like taking the bottle from the alcoholic. She should thank you for it later.

Problem is the FORCE issue. How do you FORCE that? I mean other than plan B.

Tough call. You know your wife. Have you shared the site with her? Have you explained why you need her to give you a sign that she wants the M to work and Radical Honesty is it?

NCWalker

thanks MP,NCW. this other lady told me the day that i talked to her that my ww said to her that she knows that she messed up and whants to work on the M. she told ww about other acount treating her in the way she would a teen,not totaly takeing away the problem in hopes that ww could see that the om was the person that we all see.

she told me that she told ww that in her life that what the om was saying to my ww "dont want to hert his bs""cant get her to leave" is B*** SH**!