WW told me this morning that her attny told her to only use her cell phone from now on and not to talk in the house because it may be bugged. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

So now she goes out to talk on the phone. At least I don't have to deal with her laying in our bed, in the bedroom we decorated last Christmas, on the new bed bought with my inheritance money, and having phone sex and cyber sex with the OM anymore.

Her friend called just after she told me this and I asked her if she wanted to talk, or does she want to call her back on the cell phone? WW just glared at me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> WW went on to talk on the phone the rest of the morning. (she got up early this morning 10:00am) She talked to her friend who is supporting her actions. Her friend even said on the phone that it will be better for the kids and for us to be separate but friendly, at least on the surface.

I guess what the attny really told WW is that if she talks to OM to make sure it is on cell phone out of the house, cause she didn't use the cell to talk to her friend about us.

Of course it might be hard for her to stand in the driveway all night long. Then she'll have to break down and talk in the house, in our bed <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> maybe with the shower running in the background or the radio playing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Just venting. Have not done good plan A for a few days. Getting very hard, not even sure I care.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 06:59 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Could her "friend" go by the name of Cheffy, perchance?

..."just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that people aren't out 2 get you!" - anonymous.

Gadzooks, Tom! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long

Of course it might be hard for her to stand in the driveway all night. Then she'll have to break down and talk in the house, maybe with the shower running in the background. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am serious... whenever she's on the cell in the house, turn on the radio, play music with the volume high.

Get her out on the driveway... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Then, go ahead and lock the door.

Let her in when she rings the bell... "Oh, I didn't know you were outside."

If she goes into the bathroom with her cell phone, call her on her cell .... does she have call waiting?

Pep

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I don't think so 2-Long. Appreciate the way your looking after me though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I just re-read that whole thread. I guess that is the Fog. Sometimes I think I'm in a fog...

BS Fog of thinking you can fix anything,
BS fog of thinking your finished with the WW bullcrap,
BS Fog of thinking things weren't so bad
BS Fog of thinking the WS is in a Fog <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
BS Fog of thinking you can't survive the betrayal
BS Fog of thinking you can survive the betrayal

Goodness Gracious!

PS. see I finally learned what those Instant UBB codes were for. Slow learner here.

Pep:

Good ideas.

-ol' 2long <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 01:37 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

DAWG, another 2ble post!

ol' Home Skillet keeps having that problem 2day!

-ol' 2long

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 01:29 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

Tom:

The BS fog is very real, though subtle. There was an excellent thread about it a while back on SYMC.

-ol' 2long

Pep; isn't that LB'ing. Haven't done a good Plan A the last 2 days but always try to be pleasant no matter what. The problem is my sarcasm.

2Long. she guards that phone with her life . Actually since I discovered the PA. Carries it everywhere including bed. Of course in bed it serves dual function, security and sex toy.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Wow, that's amazing.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: StillHereMakingIt ]</small>

Tom,

It's tempting, since she reads here, to do a reverse gas-lighting on her for a change.

And I'd check your BS fog statements for anything about being naive about the intentions of their WS - The more I read Cheffy's remarks, I would bet Vegas that Cheffy is somehow connected to your WW. You are being gaslighted by her in every other way - why wouldn't she stop with wiping you out financially??? This is a huge mind-game for HER and the only option for safety you have is total and immediate Plan B.

Have you considered teaming up with a marriage coach like Penny Tupy? You're going to spend the money anyway (at least your WW is going to spend your money) - you might as well get some value out of what's flying out of your account. Penny's pretty street smart and can help you protect yourself and increase the odds of saving your marriage - if you still do, considering the viscious nature of your WW, I am baffled as to why?

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 01:42 PM: Message edited by: KaylaAndy ]</small>

Tom:

Your W may be in one of her lawyer's cheezy cable TV ads someday:

"Cheezy Lawyer got me 2.3 million!". Of course, he'll have edited the following remark from your WW "but he kept 90% of it 2 feed his Beemer habit!".

This lawyer isn't helping your WW out of her M, he's helping her out of her (your) money. He's obviously cheezy because he's as paranoid as your W, or he's encouraging her paranoia so he can get more of her (your) money faster.

Ever hear this one?

Definition of a "Crying Shame": A busload of lawyers going off a cliff with 2 empty seats!"

Sorry, BB!

-ol' 2long

Originally posted by Tom Joad:
Pep; isn't that LB'ing.

Of course it is.... but perhaps it is not.

Haven't you learned the fine art of on purpose mistakes?

Sheesh! (J/K)

If she thinks the home phone is bugged ... she is beyond ordinary LBing anyway...

I'd call her cell phone to ask inane questions throughout the day.... use up her minutes... but always being polite and friendly.

Pep

Post deleted...
SD

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 02:04 PM: Message edited by: shattered dreams ]</small>

Tom -

Been following your posts and wishing you the best.

Ya gotta keep your sense of humor in all of this. Sounds like you are!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">(Leaned in front of the Sliding Glass door with the kids head phones on and acted like I was listening to her call.) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Love it! That's too funny.

I mean, geez, calling the OM while in your home, while laying in bed or even in the driveway. Unbelievable!

Take care.

sss

Kayla:

I still agree. Cheffy denied focusing on Tom's threads and his sitch, saying that she viewed other threads as well that weren't related 2 his. But she didn't. Ever click on the "recent visitors" for individual threads? When I saw her on yes2rday, I checked ALL recently viewed threads on the 4ums. Cheffy viewed ONLY her threads and Tom's.

She's new, and yet she knows so much about Tom's sitch.
She's new, and yet she posted a thread asking where the MB Photo album was, and told Tom she saw his pic and was thinking about posting hers.

Mrs Joad is paranoid, and her lawyer is helping her look for dirt on Tom, like things that may be perceived (through some Rube Goldberg roundabout thought process) as violating her privacy somehow.

Penny Tupy is AWESOME. I highly recommend her. She's not even all that expensive (neither are the Harleys) when you consider how quickly they can cut through all the nonsense and get 2 the point. REAL TALENT.

-ol' 2long

Thanks. Jeesh! This is a pain.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 07:05 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom,

Just an honest question I'd like to see you answer:

How much more friction can she create than you're already enduring now? Seems to me she's playing full on "TJ destruction and annihilation Force 10!". She's even got a team working you over and you don't get it!

When are you going to contact Penny?

Tom, do you think Cheffy might be OM?

GC

Kayla, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Well like most people I tend to try to avoid unpleasantness, unless there is some reward or acchievement that makes the unpleasantness worth it.

So yes any additional friction is bad for me. I don't mind confronting here poor behavior and letting her see my good behaivor. The kids see it too.

Also Kayla, I don't want her to have any reason, even as weak as this, to make her feel justified in her actions. I want her to know her actions for what they are, even if the realization comes later.

As far as getting worked over. I really am just concentrating on trying to be a good dad and pleasant husband. I only have a few months of my family left and I want to make those memories as good as I can, for my kids. So, yes - the WW will find ways to torment me. But I say let her find those ways. I will not give them to her. She won't be able to justify her adulturous behaivor, her meanspiritedness, her greed, her neglect, or selfishness on anything I've done.

I haven't been perfect in the past, don't misunderstand. But given things I've learned I can change my own future.

And no, GC. OM is not Cheffy/

As the guy on Princess Bride would say... "It's inconceivable!"

Seriously, no. This guy could give a crap about me I'm sure. Or my kids and family. He's a homewrecker, pure and simple. Selfish and looking out for himself only... just like my WW is now.

Get this... before it turned into a PA. When I first discovered there was an OM on the internet ... she defended him. Told me he was worried about breaking up the M. He didn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do. What a guy! Guess it didn't bother him, if my WW wanted to be an adulterous, cheating wife, then it was fine by him. As long as it was her idea. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I don't think he is even trying to separate me from my WW. As long as he gets to play cyber-sex, phone sex, fantasy life, or a weekend trip here and there to use my wife for casual sex. He is happy. He's using the WW as a playtoy. Can anyone seriously think he wants to take over my family responsibilities???? after a few months of phone sex and cyber sex, and a weekend sex fest.... He probably thinks my WW is a Wh0re. I know that's what I'd think if I was meeting married women on the internet who gave me phone sex and cybersex and met for weekend sex trysts with strangers. So hell, seriously is that the kind of girl anyone would marry?

Oops <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Obviously it is the kind of woman I married....Oy Vey! (not jewish, did I spell that wrong <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> )

So I don't think he'd waste his time here, or typing anything that wasn't sweet talk to my WW.

Cheffy is just a confused fantasy seeking WW or someting else. I don't know. But she/he's not my WW or her friends. To much effort for any of them. They're lazy. Oops another DJ. Have to stop that.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 07:13 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>