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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 125
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Posts: 125
You may have read this before, but it's so hilarious, it deserves another reading:

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look in the mirror, look at your wiener and scratch your a**.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo'sound again.

19. Throw wet towel on bed.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 01:43 PM: Message edited by: halseybach ]</small>

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 478
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Posts: 478
That was funny!! And true. But I thought it was just my H that acted like that??? They're all like that?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Maybe I don't want a different one after all. (It's crossed my mind that it may just be easier/better to find a new one and start over). But not if they all act like that!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 125
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Posts: 125
I think they're all like that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I know my H is. Hmm.....having a tough time visualizing a 60 year old man doing woowoo though....(shudder) don't want to visualize it anymore....I'm not feeling well now...

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 673
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Posts: 673
halsey -

I've read this joke before...it always cracks me up!

FYI - 60 year olds do it too!

It's the same WooWoo...just includes a few wrinkles here and there!

LOL

sss

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 125
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Posts: 125
Oh Lordy, now I have a mental image of my Grandpa going woowoo to my 86 year old Grandma! LOL

Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Oh man that's funny, and sooo true!


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