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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 240
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 240 |
I love how WHs justify what has happened in their life. My WH states that he was already done with the marriage before the A began. He should have tried to work on the marriage but didn't.
I think he is full of crap as he has also stated that the OW was having trouble in her marriage and he was struggling with my miscarriage and they helped each other out. Now of course he is in love with her. FOG
My WH thinks he has it all figured out that he will be fine visiting his son at the hospital and with the visitation agreement of 8 hours a week. I guess if he is fine with that it is his loss. Who would be?
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Oh Durham, they all say the same thing. Ignore it.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,178
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,178 |
They are most of them like this durham. When my WW asked me to tell her what I've learned about As the other day, one of the things I explained was that the WS commonly believes this:
chicken = end of marriage
egg = affair
but from the perspective of the BS this is only a justification for doing it, and that the BS never agrees. She said she believed, like the typical WS, that the M was over before the A started. I didn't want to get into an argument, I just nodded and said "I understand that you feel that way, but I disagree."
Who would be fine with seeing his new child 8 hours a week? A selfish, emotionally immature person, spoiled by an unearned sense of entitlement and (one of my favorite Pittman phrases) no ego control.
GC
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
I haven't been here that long Durham, but it seems to me that your WH is about as fogged out as they come. You are in the toughest place of all to be in I do know that.
After this baby comes I think you won't want him back, because although I made myself be friends with my daughters dad and put all my personal feelings aside at delivery and after, I really had no desire to ever make it work with him again. I tryed when he wanted to for awhile but my heart was no longer in it, and never would be again.
That is probably where you will be too, and then you won't ever have to waste your time, and untold amounts of grief on him or his stupid fog again. You will meet someone who will adore you and your baby.
Just keep on venting. Haven't seen you do that here in awhile.
Weaver
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
Oh yes, my WH says this all the time...it goes back and forth STILL!
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042 |
Reality is going to hit him so hard he won't know what to do. Once he sees that baby and realizes everything he is going to miss, he will be miserable. I can't imagine missing even one moment of my childs first few weeks. Eight hours a week is not a father, that is someone who just comes by to visit. So if he is fine with that, then he is definately not good enough for you. You are coming out of this a better, stronger person and will be a wonderful mother.
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