I am just trying to find out if this is needed. In the military, we always used "cheatsheets" or templates, in order to help us get thru planning and operations. Plan A and Plan B are nothing but military operations.

So, my question is that I have designed these templates for both Plan A and Plan B. These templates allow you to get everything out on paper, to find all courses of actions and to work thru them so you will almost NEVER be surprised by the WS, and you will have your responses always ready.

I have also thought about allowing people to fill in a blank plan, and then I could help them review it periodically in order to update it as conditions change.

So, the question is...do you BSs out there think you would need something like this? Please answer yes or no, and if you want, you can post responses here.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: Mortarman ]</small>

i answered yes but i wasn't sure if that's the way i really wanted to vote. i think i would have liked or could have used something like this in the beginning but at this point i'm pretty "confident" in doing plan A and i will probably never have the strength to do a plan B given my situation. thanks for asking though.

Hi MM - I voted as if I was a still a BS on "active duty" to use your terminology. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

By all means, produce your cheat sheet! How could it do harm?

Make sure you emphasize exposure, exposure, exposure.

Maybe that should be the first three steps for a continuing affair.

WAT

Yes, I think it probably would have been helpful to have such a plan after the original d-day.

MORTARMAN!!!

It's sooo good to "see" you again, my brother.

I voted FOR the "cheat-sheet Plan A/Plan B" - but if truth be told? I'm not sure it's any more of a help to someone who's emotionally crippled by infidelity than this site!

I mean, if "they" (BS's) will NOT do what they are advised to do by all the well-meaning (and in many cases, very successful users) on this site, what would make you think they will use the Cheat-Sheet? Not trying to flame ya here, just wondering what you think of the odds of the "Plan" being utilized by those who have been betrayed to their bones, and are rendered incapable of moving forward with anything positive?

It's good to "see" you involved here, again. As you can see, lots of new names, lots of new hurting people.

Take care of yourself.

God Bless,

Lupolady,

Good to hear from you!!

You make a good point. The cheat sheet isnt the indepth analysis and help they get here, or from counseling with Steve Harley.

It is something they could carry with them, to study over, to help prepare themselves right before the WS calls or comes over. It is a guide that is easily read, is updatable depending on what is going on and what has happened so far. And it helps the BS in planning what they will do or say in the future.

It is just a tool. I made a rudimentary one for myself in the middle of everything. I vetted much of what I wanted to put down on here with you all. Then when I finally put it into play, it was amazing how prepared I was. I had written down, for example, how my wife would react one day when she said she wanted to go to teacher-parent night at the school together. My response was that no, we wont go together. (The kids were with me, remember?) I told her that she could meet me there, this was the times of the meetings...and we could sit in with the teacher together to discuss our child.

Well, I had worked thru the courses of action in my template. I knew that she would either blow her lid, or not. So, I worked thru what her responses would be...and what my responses would be to them.

Know what happened? She blew her lid. Made threats. Said she would bring it up in court when we went to custody hearing, how I wasnt being a team player. (She didnt use those exact words, but you get my drift.) Well, my response was ready. I had written it down (a key thing to do when learning something...dont just read it, write it...helps with memory). I had done "rehearsals" at home. Again, this is key.

So, when it happened...I was ready. Man...the first time I did this and it worked, it was like someone taking a deflated balloon and blowing helium into it. I went from destroyed and powerless, to having ALL of the control. And for the first time, I was ready to take on life, my marriage, and her affair. I felt that I had the right equipment (dont always have SAA or this website out there when you need it).

So, I am not saying it substitutes for all of this. I just found doing it in a military format, with structure...allowed me to have at the ready a key tool to take on the Fog and the craziness of it all. Once I did, then I almost never was pulled into my wife's craziness.

Does this make any sense??

In His arms.

I've always said to write down your plan A so that you can see how it that you are doing towards your goal and improving yourself so yes to the cheat sheet!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Well, I voted yes as well. With zero No votes, that's petty much a given, eh?

I know this would have done me some good at the time. Not as a substitute for everything else, but as additional supprt. Especially for those times when I couldn't get to the boards and wait for a response. I especially like the idea, because it gives you a simple, precise outline to look at when needed, instead of having to try and find "that one scenario" in a book, or "that one post" on the boards.

By no means would it be considered a replacement for other sources, but it sure would have been useful in those "emergency situations".

Great idea Mortarman!

I voted yes. I wish I had had one when I started my plan A. It went on way too long.

Now I am moving to plan B, and I know I will need tons of support and help because I know it will be hard. My H is going to want to see me and talk to me and I hope I will be strong enough to resist.

So yes, please, I will be needing help!!