I wanted to save my marriage so much. I love my WH with all my heart.

How can I save a marriage when he filed for a Vegas divorce and now lives thousands of miles away?

Now I just want to protect myself and my assets.

I did find a Vegas address for him, but its a mailbox rental. Why so be so secretive now? The OW is Divorce and he filed, what else are they hiding?

I can't believe this is the man who loved me with all his heart and loved his family. A man who loved the Lord. In my heart he was worth fight for, but the man or I should say coward he is now, I don't even know or even want.

I will miss his love, companionship, kisses, hugs, his smile, his beautiful eyes, his voice, his spirit, etc. The thoughts of not being held in his arms and looking up into his eyes again just breaks my heart.

I just hope when the fog lifts, he will find the Lord again and if there is a chance for us, I'm putting it in God's hand.

This board has been so helpful and I'll keep posting. I'm still married and still need advice.

He couldn't even face me or call me to tell me he was filing for D. I couldn't believe he thought I would commit suicide over this.

Fourteen years together and I get a letter, blaming me for everything. What a great letter attached to the summons. Apparently the fog has not lifted.

This has been the most painful thing I ever had to go through. I still cry and mourn for my marriage. The pain of betrayal has been unbearable.

I know I'm stronger and more confident than I ever have been. I still haven't taken off the ring or removed the wedding pictures around the house.

I'm running out of ways to save my marriage. It is so nice to know I have a wonderful support group, with this board, friends and his family.

When this all plays out...

You will still respect yourself.... even tho you will grieve this loss.

Imagine this senario ... you are grieving the loss of this marriage, and yet you start a NEW marriage immediately... without taking the time or effort to work through the loss, the emotional connections, the family connections... suddenly you are separated from your past life and into something new .... without so much as taking a clear breath!

Soooooooo dumb.

Just think of all the HEAVY BAGGAGE being dragged in the dirt behind these honeymooners.... poor communications skills, sneaky behavior, loss of self-respect, a ruined reputation, lost principles, lost values, lost vows, lost honesty.... the list of things that are foul is endless .... all being dragged into their relationship.

Their life is an emotional pig-stye.

Yucky.

In time, you will realize that you have a better life. Minus the baggage.

Pep

Hopeless, that was very eloquent. I have had many of the same feelings. How can I save my marriage when WW is consumed with fantasy internet lover. (also had one time PA with him and wants more) As I mentioned before he lives in Vegas.

I thought also that my WW was worth the fight. I believed she was a better woman than her current behaivor indicated. Inside I think maybe she is, but it is gettin harder to believe.

I have instead tried to enjoy my family as much as I can before it is over with. At the same time try to protect myself in the DV and secure some kind of future for my children.

Unlike you however, I don't think if my WW has regrets from actions, or comes out of the "fog" that the door will be open for reconciliation. I don't know for sure, but I sincerely hope that is my mind set if it occurs. This betrayal, lying, deceitful behaivor, and disregard for our family is so painful. I never want to give her that opportunity to hurt me again. I now know just how capable of cold heartedness she is.

So we might as well travel this road together. Surviving for something better. We never know what the next day will bring us.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Hope -

You seem like such a nice, sweet person. I am so sorry you are going through this. What a stupid, stupid loss for your WH. It's heartbreaking to read your threads. I just don't know what to say to you except you hang in there, you are going to be blessed 10 fold and this will all seem like a distant bad dream.

Weaver

I don't know law worth beans, but can he really expect you 2 answer 2 his summons when he's filed from a rental mail box in another (flakey) state? Not the state where his last residence was? Not the state where you were married or where you still reside?

BB's out there. Hope she chimes in.

-ol' 2long

Thanks,

Through all this I was trying to take the high road, I never wanted to lower my standards.

There were times I thought maybe if I become malipulative or start playing games like the OW, I would get what I want. Luckily that thought leaves fast, I believe what goes around comes around. She will have to answer to God.

It is still not over, I still have to go through the D, I'm not going fight it. I just want to protect myself and get it over with so I can move on.

I would like closure by seeing him one last time. I just would like a hug and kiss goodbye and tell him how much he has meant to me in my life. The last time I saw him was back in March, shopping with the OW. I don't want that to be my last memory of fourteen years together.

I learned alot in these past seven months. I hope I will able to help other people who want to keep their marriage together, even though I couldn't.