A question that runs through my head everyday is how can a woman be with someone who is married. If she knows they are married how can she not care enough about herself to stay away? I have asked the OW in my husbands life many times if she was married would she want this done to her. She never answers because she already knows the truth.

How can someone hurt other innocent people. Children especially. Then want to be in their life if the WS leaves the marriage. I don't think I could allow my husband to take my kids around her. I would go crazy. I know there is no real answers to my questions. I just needed to vent.

Welcome to MB and I'm sorry for your pain. I would love to know the answer to that question. When I talked to OW, she told me her exH used to cheat on her with stippers. So I asked, since you know how it feels, how could you do something like this?? (of course, I was screaming at her). She just kept saying she was sorry. She didn't give me an excuse except that my H said he and I weren't compatible anymore and shouldn't have married and she said he was a real charmer. Makes me freakin' ill.

Hi and welcome...

I have wondered this myself many times.

My Fogman and OW have convinced each other that their marriages were over and that the BS's are pure evil. That was good enough for them, I guess. <<hacking on fog>>

Ummm, I think they got it backwards...

The OW in my case thought my husband was a single guy since he never told her he was married or has 2 kids. In Dec he told me what was going on after he told her he was married.

So I called her up she apologized and said she didn't know but suspected he was married or had some secret. I really wasn't upset with her then. She acted like she wasn't going to bother with him and would only be there IF he didn't work it out with me.

She forgave him quickly and eversince then has been talking to him almost daily. He buys phonecards and also calls her from him work. She lives about 10 hours away so they do not see each other often. In fact out of the last 3 years I think they have only met in person 3/4 times. In June he went to see her after not seeing her for 6 months. She allowed him to stay in her dorm and spent the entire weekend with him. Both of them insist that they have not had sex but they have done other things kiss, touch,etc. Knowing he is married how could she allow him to stay with her? She has acted like I am the stupid housewife. I am sure he tells her we are so different and things haven't been right. But he hasn't given us a fair chance. 3 out of the 4 years we have been married he has been emotionally involved with her. I know it's my husband also but she is single has no strings tied to him. I always wonder what is wrong with her that she can't find someone closer and a man that is not married.