I have been doing a great plan a for the last 2-3 weeks. No overt snooping, no talk about R, no questions about OM. Lots of compliments, making time to take care of the kids when she needs a break, etc. She got a new cell phone # about 3 weeks ago, and promised she would not give the new # to OM. I don't if she has or not, but am trying hard to give her the benefit of the doubt. I am about 99% cetain she has not seen him in months.

My question is what should I be looking for in signs of fog and w/d? I guess the fog is hard to see since I am not discussing R or OM. But what about w/d? She seems happy, have been having sex 2-3 times a week, genuinely getting along very well. Even a "ILY" from her last week that she iniatiated. I think we are doing better, but after everything that has happened, I am worried she is just playing the game to keep my suspicions at bay.

I know it is a huge and general question, but what should I look for? I think it is too early to talk about the A, but when should I start those conversations again? Tomorrow we are going to get some furniture made. She talks alot about the future, but she did that during the A also. Maybe she always knew the A was doomed. Any help would be appreciated.

VERY hard to say, although there are classic FOGese sayings/behavior, and sometimes obvious signs of withdrawal, only you know YOUR W !

At this point, it's hard to tell if you're apprehensive for good reason. The radar is on overkill, and all that we trusted for our instincts are pretty much shattered.

I think you can talk about anything, at anytime as long as it comes out as concern. If you bottle this up, you may blow up with accusations, which is definately an LB, especially if she ISN'T doing anything.

I think asking her how she feels about the progress of your R is pretty okay right now. You still have a vested interest you know !