please help. i am currently in plan a. my h hasn't been home all nite. at first i was angry, i've been driving around everywhere looking for him, at all his usual( and unusual) places and i can't find him. i'm so frightened now i can't sleep or think straight.he isn't answering his cell phone either and thats odd. if he comes home (i pray) with a stupid excuse, how do i keep from LBing? i'm not the most even tempered of people.

This sort of thing went on in my first marriage.

Okay, it's much easier for me to say this than it would be to do this but...

Right now I would go out and find something to do. Don't take a cell phone if you've got one but turn it off and hide it so he can't find it..or take it with you but I'm not sure I would answer it if he called. At first I was just going to say hide it but if you want to give the tiniest bit of benefit of doubt, think accident..you don't want to miss a call in that case.

Anyway, I would try to go out and find something to do to take your mind off this. Malls probably aren't open yet, but you could go to Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks, sit and have a cup of coffee. Or go take a cuppa to the park and just sit. It's amazing how quiet and peaceful a park can be first thing in the morning!

Come home when *you're* done and I wouldn't say a word. See if he brings it up. Give him a an hour or so. Then calmly ask him where he was last night. From what I read, asking for information concerning whereabouts is a CALCULATED LB in Plan A. But you need to ask respectfully. I don't have any advice on this part since I'm not sure that I would be able to either.

most of all, *hugs* to you..you need them.

I agree with Maddy - get away for awhile. Do not be there when he gets back or a big fight is sure to happen...or tears, pleading and begging.

My X used to pull stuff like this, years ago when I was pregnant, and I now wish I would have left the house and come back when I was in a better place mentally. I did everything wrong back then and wish I knew what I know now. It's just been recently that I could even admit that I was a BS. When I first came here I barely even remembered all those years ago when I was pregnant. Blocked them out I guess.

update....
h was arrested and spent the night in jail for no insurance, expired license. thank you guys so much for your responses. will try to implement your advice next time something like this happens. before anyone asks, yes, i seen the paperwork.

Ouch..well..glad this was not what you suspected it was. But also hope you're addressing this as an issue.

Several years ago I got in an accident. The address on my license was wrong and I had no insurance. I did not get arrested for that. I got some hefty fines and lost my license for awhile, but no arrest.

I hope that you can work through whatever it was that caused this to happen.

Maybe it doesn't even matter but are you sure he was really in jail. That sounds like some of the lies my FWW told.

Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!