Hello everyone who may remember me - I am sure there are a few out there because as I flicked through a post I saw a lot of names of dear people who have helped me out - LIR, Ark, Pep, SS, JL - oh you all know who you, I don't have any particular favourites. Well except for TMCM if you're reading <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Anyway, after many months of weaning myself away from MB, Brit's Brat asked me to pop in and look at Cheffy's post - I honestly didn't think I could help. Sometimes you just don't think you can. But it brought me back here, and I wanted to let everyone know I am well and happy. I know there would be people who wanted to know that.

It is now nearly a year post-DV. I don't see or speak to Pound Man and the girls don't mention him to me so often now - I think we have settled into a different routine - and for me not having to deal with him makes my life a lot easier.

I often wonder why I stayed with him for so long given his abusive behaviour and it makes me cross with myself, because I think I stayed well over time and then of course caused everyone so much grief by my A. I know for sure it was a way to get out, although I did try my best to put things right - I have to say for me,I'm glad it didn't happen and I hope Pound Man can be happy with Shiney Head.

I don't dwell on the past too much - I try not to beat myself up, because I did that, and I don't need to anymore. I think I have a much better understanding of who I am now, why I became that strange person that I didn't recognise for a while, and what took me to that place. It's history, and I'll never forget, never go there again, but I forgive me, and actually quite like the new and improved Lisa. It couldn't have happened without MB.

I am still working on a self employed basis, but now feel the time is right to look for a more permanent job. I have been doing interim work recently, and I like the routine of going somewhere everyday and a pay cheque at the end of the month!! I think it would suit me better now.

I'm also still cycling and this year I raised £2,500 for a national charity and had a wonderful cycle in Vietnam. This was my fourth ride and most eventful - I managed to get myself knocked down by a motorbike and impale my leg on to the mud guard <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> It wasn't nice at the time (8 stitches in my leg with no anesthetic), and it took a long time to heal because of infection, but I am fighting fit now even though I have a lovely scar <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Will I ever be ready to meet anyone again? Well there's a question. After a somewhat disastorous end to my last freindship with Yank BF, I think I got burned. Having said that I have met a rather nice bloke at work. Trouble is I really enjoy being single and am just not sure yet that I want to get involved on any level with anyone. For now, it's fun and that's enough during these busy times.

So folks, life here is good, yes very good. Thanks to all of you MB superstars who are still here being superstars to other poor lost souls who need you. Maybe one day I can come back a little more often and perhaps help out, but right now it may not be the right thing to do.

Take care and all the best.

Lisa

Hi Lisa - glad to hear you're progressing.

A London day here near D.C. - cool and wet. Do I have that right? Watching the end of the Tour on the "tellie."

Look at all we've learned! I know we're better people having gone through our challenges.

Be picky in choosing another BF!

WAT

Hiya Lisa,
Followed your posts for a long time. You've weathered a storm and come out much better for it.

Lisa,
I followed your posts, too, under the name broken heart and arm. It's good to know that life can be good after DV. I wish there was a reunion post day, like Valentine's Day.
Cherished

Hi Lisa,

Thanks for the update... glad to see that things are going well for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Semper Fi,
RIF90

Hi Lisa. Not sure we ever posted to each others threads but I remember the name.

Glad life is moving forward for you and your girls.

I was gone for awhile too until I found out the EA was really a PA.

Keep moving forward and don't look back.

Mac

Hi Lisa,
So glad to read that you and your girls are living a happy, fullfilling life.
Thank you for your update, and all the best to you
FBOW

Hi Lisa,

It is good to hear from you again. It does sound as if things are going well. Don't worry about the relationship thing, you will know when it is time, and what to do. Just enjoy your life, and stay away from those motorbikes.

God Bless,

JL

Howdy Lisa! So good to hear from ya! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Lisa,

Thanks much for dropping in and posting an update. It helps all of us who "know" you, and it helps folks just getting on the roller coaster to know that MB can help whether you're BS or WS and whether the M survives or not - MB can help all involved parties to grow, heal, and recover in the way that's healthiest and best for them. Here's to a brighter future!

You know this is why it's so hard to stay away from this place - so many fantastic "friends" out there - I'm touched to hear from so many. So as always, in reverse order:

Turtlehead - you are so right. Success stories come in many different shapes and sizes and I think I am one. I am the same, but fundamentally different if that makes sense <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> None of us are a blank sheet of paper and we all grow with time through our experiences. As SS used to say to me, "It's not what you do but what you learn from it". I wish you all the best.

ML - Howdy right back at ya!!!! How's life down south? You are one of those superstars I talk about - always giving care and support. Good to see you.

That wise old sage JL - what would I ever have done without you all those months ago?????? Sunk probably. You always challenged me and encouraged me to think outside the box - I'll never ever forget what you did for me. Thank you. Yes, keeping clear of motorbikes is top of Lisa's Life List <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

FBOW - thank you for popping in and your kind words. Life can be fulfilling and fun - sometimes we forget that. I did for a long time and now I've found that again. The girls are great (when I get to see them, teenagers huh!) and so am I.

Hi Mac - I remember you too although I'm not sure we ever posted to each other. I am sorry to hear your news. You just come to terms with one thing and then get that thump in the gut again. So very sorry. If you want to recover you M and follow MB principles, I will keep all fingers and toes crossed for you that you are successful - you will have a good chance. Take good care.

RIF90 - another "old timer" registered not long before me. Thanks for posting and remembering me. Wishing you well.

Cherished - I remember you too. I hope your name change reflects that now you are cherished and you are moving forward growing in your M. You deserve it, you have put in a lot of hard work. Keep it up.

Getting Better - Storm? Storm? More like hurricane, tornado and everything else wrapped into one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> But I did, and for a long time I truly didn't think I would. It's really quite amazing what we all can and can't do and when we look back we realise we have indeed weathered some of the very worst times but come out the other side stronger. Thanks to you.

WAT - OK, you can be an honourary Brit with so much understanding of our vocabulary <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Yes, I watched a bit of Lance on the telly, and yes,the weather has been pretty awful this summer, but lovely right now! You are another of those "good MB eggs". You are an inspiration, you really went through so much. I hope you and yours are well.

Thank you all for your care and kind words.

Lisa

Oops - double post!

Lisa

<small>[ July 26, 2004, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Lisa in London ]</small>

A light and breezy reply back !!!

Hi Lisa,

I was thinking about you last week, wondering how you are doing. It is good to hear from you.

There are lots of things I could say, but I think I will say - thanks for coming by, it's always nice to hear from friends. I have been praying for you - I can see you smile when you read this.

You sound well - I know your recovery continues. I keep hoping for it's completion, and for increased happiness for you.


What ever happened to your friend and her H? Was there a happy ending to that one?

How are you doing deep down in side where we keep all our dreams? Do you still have faith that yours will come true?

SS

<small>[ July 26, 2004, 06:34 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hello SS and wouldn't it just be you to ask those questions that make me think hard about msyelf <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I have not heard from my friend - I can only assume that a) the situation has not changed,she continues to cheat on her H and not address anything or b) she left him and feels to ashamed/worried about what I might say. I miss her, deep down, I worry about her. But more time needs to pass before I can make contact with her again.

I was smiling too! It's interesting that you say about my recovery - in some ways I think it is complete, but I know you are right because right now (and maybe this isn't what you mean), I find it hard to imagine being with anyone else. Being involved, being committed to 1 person only. As I said, I like being single, doing my own thing and enjoying my own life. I know one day when I am ready that will be different and I think that will mean I have recovered. Maybe that is too simplistic, but I think it is a big indicator - I don't want to get burned, hurt etc. I'm not ready to handle anyone else's emotions, hopes, dreams and fears, because sometimes it's still hard for me to look after my own.

Deep down? Deep down I really do feel good about myself. Going out to work regularly has made a very practical change to my life - it's good for me to have routine and regularly interact with people. I feel valued - hey they gave me a big pay rise last week! One woman who I had worked with who left last week said I had been an inspiration to her - that was wonderful. It's good to be known in a different capacity - one where my personal life isn't relevant. It's made a huge difference to be going somewhere everyday and not having time to "stew" on life and problems.

Of course, the flip side of that is I feel incredibly busy and pushed at times. I sometimes feel very alone - not even lonely, but alone. I do have faith that my dreams will come true, but I think for now my dreams are just living for the here and now, progressing, finding myself again, working at being a better person.

You know my friend in Switzerland, in April she said to me "What are your dreams, what would you do if you could do anything?" The only thing I could think of was to go travelling and see everything, go everywhere - which sounds a bit like escapism to me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> But I know one day my dreams will come back - small or big, it doesn't matter, and I'll believe they can come true.

I miss the girls, and haven't seen as much of them as I would like lately. I do worry that Shiney Head will take my place, but know that is an unrealistic worry. I know one day I will probably have to face her and him and I don't like the idea of that. It still upsets me that a man who claims he loved me so much could replace me so quickly and put so much effort into a new R without putting a fraction of that effort into his own M. It sort of summarises Pound Man completely really and is an indication of him not me, but that and his abusive nature makes me cross, hurts a bit still deep down. I seriouly do not miss him though, I barely think about him and know DV was the right thing in our case.

Anyway, I'm waffling here a bit, as I normally do! It was good to hear from you too. I hope you and yours are well SS. I think of you too.

Thanks for caring.
Lisa