Hello

H might have a goodbye party at his job this week, and I don't really know what to do.
To say to him do not go would be very selfish in my view, on the other hand, most likely OW will be there. Since he is not the organizer, he can not ask for her not to be there. Would seem weird, and in H's job they don't know the real reason on why he quit.

I realize they are still working together and things might be happening there, H has not showed anything to let me even suspect that, but you know how it goes, it has passed to little time for me to be sure of him.

So now I'm fretting about this, and I wouldn't like to be there and meet OW (I don't know her at all, never saw her or anything, and just looking at her would be a huge trigger for me, regardless of the playing movies I want to avoid).


So, I don't want to be a cop, but also I'm feeling very unsure on how this party might turn out in the end, not because my H, but because of her.

Any advice would be very appreciated!

If there is no reasonable way to arrange that the OW not be there..then why do you feel it is selfish to ask him to to go? I think it would be entirely appropriate. No contact means NO CONTACT. Every time they see/have interraction with the other person your WS is back at square 1 regarding withdrawl. It would be a small thing to forego an office goodbye party...a lot to ask you to tolerate continued exposure. Take the time instead to do something together. Just my 0.02 ---Noodle

Honestly- as hard as it will be to do- I think
you need to let him go. There is no guarantee
she will be there. It could hurt his career
down the line to be perceived as "snubbing" the
goodbye party. It seems that so far he is
making a good faith effort to do what is necessary. Would it be a NC violation- if you
were to ask a trusted third party to contact
her and politely ask her not to attend. This
may also be a perfect way to show WS that you
are willing to put your faith in him. Believe me,
if these are anything like my companies party's-
there in the office and the guest of honor is
so inidated with well wishers- even if she did
attend she'd barely get a minute.

Hello again people

There seems to be that there is not going to be a goodbye party. H has asked his co-workers not to do it. And in case they are stubborn, he asked me to go with him. Until friday I will not know for sure.

noodle

Asking for NC now would be meaningless, because they still work together, and that is why he is quitting his job. To be able to mantain a NC <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .
And yes, thank you for your idea on have some time with him together, now I have to plan something special!.

The Pink Paige

H saw how I was acting when he gave me the idea last weekend. I though it wasn't fair o ask him not to go to his goodbye party. Saddly I don't know anyone at his job. I have kept that part of him far from home, and that is going to change on his next job.

But he has made his point, he asked for no party, and in any case there is one, he asked me to be there so... I'll have to go, and try to be my best!

Thanks for the advice!