<small>[ November 22, 2004, 03:06 PM: Message edited by: joe c. ]</small>

Good job, Joe.

What about the "drunk" allegation?

Keep in mind here that OM's wife may also be exaggerating faults of OM. But the info you got is valuable nonetheless. It's a window into their world.

I recommend you NOT try to reason with your wife using the info you heard. Two reasons: she's not reasonable and the info may be wrong. Plus, it'll be a huge LB that you have invaded OM's privacy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by joe c.:
<strong>I try to tell myself it's the fog she's in, but it is still very ego damaging.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Look at it this way. You should not compare yourself to this guy. Apples and oranges, or rather, apples and rotten eggs. He's pond scum. Yea, it hurts to see WSs take up with scumbags, but the OP is merely the drug of choice. Often, it's just any port in a storm. Not the end, just the means.

Hang tight and this thing's gonna fizzle. Plan B and the baby issue are gonna do it, I bet.

WAT

Good job, Joe! I am thinking on how you can use this information to your benefit. Why does she have a restraining order against him?

Hey Joe,
just wanted to see I applaud your courage to call the OMW. I know it's something you hated, and it took every ounce of effort you had. You did the right thing.

It's great to have this support.

Following up Mel's question, restraining orders are public documents and you could verify one actually exists.

Assuming one does and you obtain a copy, this could be used some way in further exposure. Not sure how, other than revealing to your WS that such a thing has happened (assuming OM hasn't told her). Get more opinions if you have such an opportunity.

WAT

Hey guys,

Appreciate the feedback. Stopped home for a bite, I thought I might pass out. Little low on energy.

I am a bit scared of the LB'ing effects of what I've done. I can't trust that OMW won't inform OM of our conversation. That's gonna cause some turbulance all around I'm sure. OMW said she was trying to contact me for a while, actually called my house. She got the info when she had a hotel reciept faxed over back in january. She suspected OM when he missed his flight from N.Y.C. I remember that trip, she was a day late too.

I don't know how exactly to use this info, but as said, it is at least a window into their world. And for some reason it gives me hopes that this will fizzle out, yet in the same manner disappoints me greartly that my WS could sacrifice everything wonderful we've built together over the years, for a situation that seems so clear to us here that is so, so wrong.

From what I gather, this guy does some of the same things I do that my WS doesn't like. But keep in mind that he is a salesman. When 2 people come together they are only showing their best, a salesman, or any good one at least, is trained to sell you something even if you don't want it. They know how to get people to like them, and build relationships even if they are scum. Their whole life is one big sales pitch, one big lie.

I don't know if the restraining order thing is true, don't know if I would use this info anyway. Remember, OM has my WS convinced that his wife is the animal.

The drinking? She said that she got drunk a few times during this. She said it was the stress of having a newborn and a H in the midst of an affair. She has been forced to wear a monitoring bracelet for the last 3 months, hasn't touched a drop. Who knows.

She also said she's going to call human resources on them. Supposedly OM was footing the bills of their getaways on his expense account. And he also liked to brag tohis wife about how much money my WS made. It sounds like he's a gold digger on top of it.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to see my WS lose her job, and perhaps effect her career. All the pain I endure from her, and I still care so much for her well being. I don't want her to get hurt.



We'll talk later. This is killing me.

<small>[ November 22, 2004, 03:08 PM: Message edited by: joe c. ]</small>

<small>[ November 22, 2004, 03:04 PM: Message edited by: joe c. ]</small>

Joe, so sorry you are feeling down tonight. I remember that feeling well and know now that it doesn't last forever. Good idea to work out. I think that was my only saving grace. For that one hour I could lose myself in exercise and almost forget my misery.

At least you know that no matter what happens, you won't always feel like this. There is no hurry on the Plan B letter. It might be best to wait a couple of weeks to see if the timing improves, ie: you hear about trouble in the affair.

Any chance that the OMW might be interested in MB concepts? It sure would be nice if she were to work on her marriage and try to get her H back. That would put pressure on it from that end. Any ideas for her?

Hang in there dude we are in for the long hall......Do you know, if so, tell me, there must have been something there to make us hold on so bad.......maybe it is gods will that we try to protect these people....I can't believe it has been 6 months for me and I am still working at it.......Will it work out will it not who knows......One way to find out.......Oonly the strong survive.........One thing I got and the OM does not and that is time in service...........And believe me it was not all bad.......or like I said I would not be here right now.................Hang in there Joe.....We will make it...........

<small>[ November 22, 2004, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: joe c. ]</small>

Home from work early again. Can't get this off my mind. She's been gone only 6 days and I'm going crazy. How did I let her slip away again?

Her mind is so jaded, how long will it take for her to see the OM's true colors? If you look at the facts, she is going to destroy her life if she ends up with him. She told her mom that his baby was cute...argh! What is she thinking? She is destroying the OMW's life. This goes against every belief I thought my WS had. We know people that have done this and we've always expressed how horrible it was.

I put in for a session with S.H.. I need some real answers here. I need some real help. I want this nightmare to be over. I guess we all feel the same.

Time is on our side, but it is the very thing that is destroying me.

Home from work early again. Can't get this off my mind. She's been gone only 6 days and I'm going crazy. How did I let her slip away again?

Her mind is so jaded, how long will it take for her to see the OM's true colors? If you look at the facts, she is going to destroy her life if she ends up with him. She told her mom that his baby was cute...argh! What is she thinking? She is destroying the OMW's life. This goes against every belief I thought my WS had. We know people that have done this and we've always expressed how horrible it was.

I put in for a session with S.H.. I need some real answers here. I need some real help. I want this nightmare to be over. I guess we all feel the same.

Time is on our side, but it is the very thing that is destroying me.

Home from work early again. Can't get this off my mind. She's been gone only 6 days and I'm going crazy. How did I let her slip away again?

Her mind is so jaded, how long will it take for her to see the OM's true colors? If you look at the facts, she is going to destroy her life if she ends up with him. She told her mom that his baby was cute...argh! What is she thinking? She is destroying the OMW's life. This goes against every belief I thought my WS had. We know people that have done this and we've always expressed how horrible it was.

I put in for a session with S.H.. I need some real answers here. I need some real help. I want this nightmare to be over. I guess we all feel the same.

Time is on our side, but it is the very thing that is destroying me. I have my plan B letter but I don't want to send it yet. I just want to know how long it will take for her to at least attempt to contact me. I probably won't even answer the phone, but I need to know when. After telling me it was over between us, I imagine it's going to take some courage and strength on her part to even pick up the phone. I suppose the longer I don't talk with her, the more time she'll have to begin missing me, wondering what I'm doing and how I'm doing.

This is soooooo hard.