Well Thursday evening we had our 3rd MC session. This time when the MC asked how everything was going I answered not so good. I told her my husband still wants to leave and is still calling the OW sometimes. The other MC sessions she seemed to focus on other things but this time she did focus on this issue more.

She asked my WH if he was going to continue doing this. She also told him the relationship he has with OW is to threatening for our marriage and for me to handle. She gave some really good advice and we really got down to why he felt the need to turn to another person outside our marriage. She had me look at him infront of her and ask him to stop all contact with OW. He said he would try and I believe this time he truly means it. He also told her he didn't really want out of the marriage that he was just upset with me and frustrated at the time and said those things.

My homework this week is to think of a way for him to make up for the hurt he has caused me. I told her I don't want him to makeup for anything. All I want from him is to try in this marriage and no contact. Any ideas of what I could say tonight in our next session about ways he could make it up to me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by SadMarylandLady:
<strong>My homework this week is to think of a way for him to make up for the hurt he has caused me. I told her I don't want him to makeup for anything.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think that was a very good homework assignment, but your response was terrific! No one can change the past - but you both can ensure a better future.

I recommend you request he write a no contact letter for your approval and allow you to send it. Then, he needs to stick by it and continue counseling with you! Also, ask him to participate with you in establishing POJA - a Policy of Joint Agreement, and Radical Honesty.

If you two keep trying, you'll more than make it up to each other.

WAT

Hey there SML !!

I'm so glad that you feel a little better.
I'm still not so sure of your MC, but you are SO smart to take the advice you're given and tailor it to best suit your needs. Good for YOU !!

I'm so glad that things are progressing this way. Like WAT said, you answered so perfectly in regards to your howework assignment.

Hang in there !!!!

SML - I'm so glad to hear you are doing well, I've been thinking about you this week and wondering. When the counselor says to you to think of ways WH can make it up to you, I think this also means ways he can make you happy going forward. For example, if you always wanted him to take walks with you after dinner and he never did it, by doing this he is making up to you and fulfilling one of your needs going forward.

Thanks for the advice. I agree Kloe I think she wants me to think of something special to do to show he cares and is willing to work on this marriage. I told her last week I feel like he doesn't care and stuff.

One thing is I have learned so much about myself from going. I really didn't realize some of the things that I was doing that really made our marriage like it is. I know I didn't make him turn to someone else but I know some of the things that happened made her seem more attractive to him.

What really bothers me right now is that he doesn't really want SF. I have backed off from it since the last MC session and I don't say anything about it anymore. I don't know if this is a form of withdrawl or what. Just seems like he is never in the mood anymore all of a sudden.

Next week is our 3rd anniversary. I am not sure if we will do anything or not. We may just go out to dinner or something. My husband doesn't have anymore days he can take off work to go anywhere. This weekend I am riding along with him to Chicago so he can help his cousin move. It's a 12 hour drive from here. I guess it won't hurt riding that long and being 6 months pregnant. I will have to call the doc I guess.