Ok, so almost 3 years after everything coming out --my PA and finding out about my husbands EA years earlier-- I thought we were finally on the right track. I thought we had learned a lot, grown together and were finally going to have a really stable relationship. I was finally feeling really strong within myself and now this. I almost feel like I can’t breath.
Let me explain.
A few months ago my H started a new job. He’s a manager at a large retail store and works one or two late nights per week. One night a couple of months ago, he called me late and said that a few people wanted to go out for a drink to unwind from work and did I mind if he went. Well, I did want him to come home but I said sure, that’s fine. I didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t have any fun. A few days later we discussed that and also discussed about not going out with only people of the opposite sex.
I thought we were on the same page but apparently we are not.
Last weekend he called me and said the same thing. I had not seen him in two days because of our work schedules and I really wanted him to come home and he knew it but I said ok, have fun. He wasn’t even gone an hour. When he came home I asked him if he had a good time and who went. It was him and two female co-workers. That was all that went.
At that moment I felt as though he had punched me in the stomach. I do trust him and we’ve worked through a lot of stuff, but now he’s on one page and I’m somewhere else. I think I’m in a different book all-together.
That night we get into a heated discussion about this whole situation. I voiced my feelings about how I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to be alone with two females because we have both been down that road and it doesn’t lead anywhere pretty. Of course it’s all innocent, he says. Yeah that’s what we all say in the beginning. It is innocent. Does anyone go out the door and say “Hello world, I am looking to have an affair this year.” Heck no.
Now he feels like he can’t breath in our relationship because of this. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I don’t know what to do, if there is anything I can do. It seems the more I try to talk it out, the more he withdraws from me.
The last thing I want to do is push him away.
I’m confident he still wants our M because the other night when we were talking he assured me that I should feel safe in our relationship because after all we’ve been through he still chooses me. Yes I know that, but I also know that how innocent things can turn the other way.
I’m not looking for someone to tell me I’m right or wrong. I just need others to look at this situation objectively and give me some feedback, maybe?
I feel like I’m losing myself.
