Full of Questions tonight, sorry....

Right now my W and I are trying to live without screaming at each other, ( and I am trying not to kill myself)pretending normality for the kids' sake until this 'withdrawal' period is over.The site says after 3 weeks the worst seperation pangs are over but can take longer. How will I know? Will there be a gradual change in my W behaviour or should I press her to see how she feels after that period of time?

I have no idea. Help please. I can't carry this weight for month after month without any real plan. I WISH we could get MB counselling in the UK.....

Thanks

<small>[ July 28, 2004, 02:53 PM: Message edited by: Bob Pure ]</small>

Bob,

You know, I wasn't really aware of the possibility or probablity of "withdrawal" when my H ended his affair. I didn't find MB until a month after Dday and honestly, my main reason for looking for help and joining this group was in an attempt to deal with my anger and hurt. I had no idea he was going through any kind of withdrawal.

I did find a couple of links for you to read and there are many more........Just click on the "search' link at the top of this page and enter the subject as "withdrawal".

How to help WS through NC/withdrawal

How to help WS through withdrawal

Is there any way to help WS though withdrawal from OP?

Hope these help.

Bob, when my WW was in withdrawal (before she decided to go back to OM), she would become very distant and indifferent. She would be totally unreceptive to affection. She would wake up early in the morning and I'd find her down on the couch crying.

She felt such strong emotion for OM that she had to go back. She couldn't make it. Good times.

I hope you have better luck.

GC

Thanks....but I have to say this MB is full of well intentioned people whose own examples fill me with dread. If I am to endure months/years of uncertain, affectionless, self-supressing emotional yo-yoing like so many of you seem to have I would truly rather be dead.

Why live if life is hell every day with no sure hope of happiness?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bob Pure:
<strong> Thanks....but I have to say this MB is full of well intentioned people whose own examples fill me with dread. If I am to endure months/years of uncertain, affectionless, self-supressing emotional yo-yoing like so many of you seem to have I would truly rather be dead.

Why live if life is hell every day with no sure hope of happiness? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because you respect life, love your W (not the WS) and you love your family. There is a lot to live for.

How are your children?

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bob Pure:
<strong>The site says after 3 weeks the worst seperation pangs are over but can take longer. How will I know? Will there be a gradual change in my W behaviour or should I press her to see how she feels after that period of time?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Bob Pure, from my experience as a FWW and from what I’ve read on these boards, there is a gradual change in the behaviour & emotions of a FWS. Withdrawal pain & residual feelings for the OP is something that will become less and less with time, patience and distance (NC) from the OP. Also, the time of withdrawal is very different for each person. The length of the A can be a good estimation of the length of withdrawal. I believe it also depends on other factors such as personality; 'sensitivity' level etc.

<small>[ July 29, 2004, 06:45 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>