Here is a little background which is really comical, check this out. I guess I am just venting but maybe a few experienced MB'ers will lend some thoughts. I will say I have no inclination to work on the M and neither does she.

My wife has been out of state working for the last few months...originally when she started this we were together but I had suspicions that she was up to something. Of course, I was right.

Anyway, we filed for D jointly on June 14. This was after I caught her in another lie in May and told her we were done. I had been building up to this and will not bore everybody with my story but feel free to read up on me.

I avoided my wife the previous weekend to when we filed by staying with a friend. She was calling over the course of the weekend and I was not returning her calls. Finally, we spoke the morning of June 14th and she asks me as she is walking in with the D paperwork-anything else you want to say prior to me turning the papers in? No, just get me a copy!

Well, 2 weeks ago she mentioned she would be returning for a few days (she had not been home since June 14th). I had no idea why she was returning, I figured something related to her high paid career/job.

Well, she came Saturday and left this morning..talk about bizarro!!!

I arrived at home Saturday morning after hitting the gym and prior to our meeting with a real estate agent. She had already been crying for some reason (I had started packing my things in the basement) and we met with the agent. I then proceed to leave quickly after changing my shirt in our bedroom as she watched. She wondered what were my plans and I told at this point I would be staying in the home...she did not reveal to me what her plans were. I quickly left.

She called late Saturday to ask a basic home related question and then again called late Sunday and left a msg on my cell phone.

Now she calls late Monday and tells me she has friends over and not to come home until 6:30 which is the time of another RE agent meeting. I ask why, she says she is uncomfortable with me here with her friends and this escalates accordingly with me telling her I have a right to enter my home anytime I choose...she finally says she will get a Restraining Order if I come home before 6:30! I ended up hanging up and heading home at 6:15.

We then meet with the RE agent, he leaves and we begin chatting about what to do with the home (we are selling it). She gets all emotional as we discuss our dogs and a few other issues (she complains to me crying that my L told her L that "she is the shining star and we are going to take her for every penny")...crazy stuff, my L would never be antagonistic. She also now tells me she is moving out and has proceeded over the weekend to take some stuff to storage, she is not comfortable here with me, etc. Good, I am really glad she is going.

Anyway, we talk a little further, she comments on my great tan and I leave.

She then calls 2 hours later and very softly speaks to me and says she thought she may have cut me off earlier and wanted to know if I have anything else to talk about...I say no.

I had always been the one trying to save this and basically gave up after the last incident of being lied to....and then went basically dark, no phone calls from me, she calls 1-3 times/week, talk is mostly business at hand with a little personal inquiry here or there. She did spend time with her GF this past weekend and did not mention anything about us getting back together. And, she is now dating this OM..she previously had an A with a different person last year...and it may have continued through the spring (at least emotionally).

She also has shot me down every time I played an interest in trying to work at this..so I finally gave up, I know there are better Fish out there than this selfish, independent woman...I was basically treated like the 3rd dog over the last year. Maybe I tried to rush things too much, who knows, read my story if you care to.

So, glad to see she is gone as she just left this morning. How bizzarre! To go from threatening me to 3 hours later wondering if I had anthing else to say!!

Thanks for reading and any comments are appreciated. It has been a rough few days with her antics. I guess she really is a controlling B**& and now she knows she no longer has me to whip around and is p'ed off.

Nature

I feel for u Nature. Women who are soo into themselves and soo self-seeking etc are a waste of time. The only way I would be able to be with my WW again (and not wind up hating her) is if she would cut that out and be in the marriage again. It makes me ill. My WW wasn't always that way was yours? Maybe they watched Sex and the City a few too many times or something? LOL. My WW loved that show and the slut character "Samantha" was her favorite. She looked up to her in a way. Barf. I guess that was a bad sign eh?

She seems like she is trying to push your buttons and stay involved in your life in her own warped way IMO. She will have a rude awakening once she can't try to control you anymore. I am sure she finds some pleasure in that. She is definately confused also with her wishy washy behavior. Drives u nuts doesn't it? Unfortunately, she probably won't realize the error of her ways until D is done and when she does u will have moved on. Maybe with a sweet, generous woman. Sometimes I kick myself for not seeing early warning signs to not marry this girl, but I loved her soo much and was blind to those things. I don't know what else to say but I am sorry and I feel your pain. my WW has very similar behavior to yours.

I suspect a case of

~ seller's remorse ~

... and I am NOT talkin' 'bout the house!

Pep

Juke/Pep, thanks for the comments.

Juke--boy, u hit it right on...that stupid S in the City show, she just loves...it has all been about her, total self absorbed high paid executive career woman..and no, she wasn't like this before...I really believe the success and ESPECIALLY MONEY changed her...she will vent the classis WS stuff about how I drove her away and other BS...but no more!

Pep, great line, I love IT!!

LOL. Knew she loves that show! Another thing she is hanging onto is her having 2 guys there to want her. It probably scares her to be left with just the scumbag OM. Major reality check on its way.

Well, I should also add that when she was with her GF over the weekened, she was asking what I have been up to and where have I been...her friend told her she did not know. It must be getting to her that I no longer appear needy/clingy, no calls, etc. I have moved on and no longer need her or her frickin' $.

Yeah, about the OM...she originally was just talking with this guy last year (who is back east)...while she was in a EA/PA with a married co-worker. So, the M dude apparently dumped her as he was not going to leave his W last year for her.

So, when she started this out-of-state temp role, she of course began calling this OM, who is single. Well, they apparently had a big blowup about 3 weeks ago and now are back together, I guess. But I am sure during the course of last year and this year she was eating up all of the love and attention I was giving..all sorts of presents, dinners, etc...and I also believe the M guy was still pursuing her.

So, there I was, the steady eddy type of guy, maybe too predictable...and now I am not there, she no longer has contact with the M guy, and already has a big blowup with the new guy.

It will be interesting to see how she implodes over the next 12 months. Just a guess, but she has so many problems that I can only imagine she will be used/abused by many once they really see who she is.

That's exactly what will happen. Same with my WW IMO. They will go from guy to guy to guy with unresolved issues piling up like a big garbage dump in their souls. Never being able to have a normal relationship again. It becomes impossible. It is really sad when people r unwilling to help themselves because they have excessive PRIDE.

Hi Nature,

Glad to hear that you are still maintaining your plan for yourself,that's what counts at this time.Your WW may be having some thoughts about what's to come.

My WH is also showing signs of interest and guilt,maybe even second guessing things a bit but it's almost too late.We see a mediator next month,our first together,to get the "ball" rolling.WH has been crying,says he misses me and loves me and mentioned that he tried to end it with the homewrecker many times but he kept calling her(I said well she just happened to answer too).But,no action taken to make me believe he wants a reconciliation,just words,maybe some truth in there too.I am still staying the course until something drastic happens.

Meanwhile,I am painting my house,got a brand new computer that's SWEET,just got back from another fun vacation with my daughters and mom and I am spending this weekend with a dear friend,going to see a show and dinner.Life goes on right? Now I just have to get back into my workout routines after eating mounds of chocolate on my time away.lol

Take care of yourself like you have been.You're a strong guy.

O

OG, good to hear from you. My WW is in for a huge wakeup call when she sees how much $ this is going to cost her. That is when this will get reallllly ugly on her part. I am so glad she is moving out.

Thanks for your thoughts, I know I maintain true dignity through this process and will come out the better person.

You are also strong to stay the course....your WH obviously is not committed or sincere for your M and you see right through his scheme. His words are meaningless, only Actions now count.

We both deserve so much better than this. And I believe over time we will.

I firmly believe my gym routine helps me a great deal. First, I am looking better than ever and I know my WW noticed it when I took off my shirt. I have also been heading out with a buddy and have met a few women who also comment on this...which helps me through this tough time.

Anyway, focus on you and the person you want to be, not him (or her in my case).

Take care!

Just a bump for more opinions, thanks!