Does anyone else have this type of problem. My H's oldest son (adult? 27 yrs old living in same town for a year now) is a bad influence on my H. 2 years ago when my H started going to strip clubs and drinking alot, he encouraged him. Then he came to visit for a week in 3/03 when I was out of town and went to strip clubs, drinking together. That's when my H started dating a stripper, giving her tons of money, and the only person my H confided in was his oldest son. So for 8 weeks until I found a cleaners receipt in his wallet for removal of lipstick stains from a shirt, my H dated this ripoff stripper and both of them kept the secret. Apparently, my H spoke to this son every day, relaying his escapades to him. Since then, his son has helped my H erase computer history, hide porn stuff, keeps secrets, also works in same industry as my H, they do deals together, and whenever we argue, my H airs dirty laundry to his son, sneaks out with him and whatever. My H will not of course give up this type of relationship with his son (xcept says will not air dirty laundry anymore, we'll see), which leaves me at bottom of his priority list and not his best friend, as H & W should be. Anyone with helpful suggestions out there?

Jannie, I would say rather that your H is a bad influence on his son. Your H is a grown man who is responsible for his own choices. What a tragic example. I wish I could give you some advice, but I don't think a person can be changed against their will and you can't change your H.

How long have you been married? Is this is his first affair? Did he always have this lifestyle?