Well my WH got an apartment and will be moving all of his stuff out Saturday. I feel pretty confident that it is over for good.
Now I have to deal with him during visitation of our son. I am ready to date other people as I think my WH doesn't deserve me.
Also his mother just got shingles which can be induced by stress. Of course, WH wouldn't take any responsibility for that.
I am looking forward to the birth of my son and wonderful moments to come.
Any thoughts on him moving his stuff?

durham -

Don't worry about it. Tell him goodbye. Let him fall on his own.

It is far from hopeless.

But please don't start dating. (Believer picturing Durham hugely and beautifully pregnant, on her first date).

Hang in there, and glad you and little Durham are doing well.

Durham, I know exactly how you feel. I also know how WH's mother feels. Shingles are horrible. I had them a few yrs ago and I'm sure I got them from stress. I swear, I felt it happen.

I've set a date for myself. My 11th anniversary, a year from tomorrow, is the day I close the door on the sparrow and become a single man. It's going to be a long haul, but by then my D will be long past final, my WW will be who knows where, hopefully not with OM, and I will be a scarred but healed man.

Of course anything could happen, and I have some hope.

Have you thought about setting a date for yourself?

GC

Any thoughts on him moving his stuff?

Great - more room for all that baby stuff...and for all your new non maternity clothes!

I have visions of you walking down the street in one of your new outfits with baby in stroller, smiling and waving at all the people you pass. And then all of a sudden a fleeting thought of dippy WH comes to mind, and you think with surprise, wow I haven't thought about him in days! Then you go home put on some funky music and with baby in arms, dance happily around the living room, singing to baby.

Weaver

Durham - Today it just occured to me that we are the lucky ones in this whole horrible mess. We will get to tuck our beautiful babies in every single night, we will be there to comfort them when they cry, we will be there when they first smile, we won't miss a minute of their lives and growth. Our WH's are the losers in this whole mess. They will miss so much. I know my WH right now doesn't think this and I'm sure your's doesn't either. Or if they do know this and are o-k with this (which I don't think my WH will be once he wakes up to what he is missing) then that is just sad and not someone I would want to spend my life with.

You must be so excited about your delivery day approaching soon. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

I just returned home to my house that is now partially empty since my WH moved all of his things out. I haven't felt this sad in quite some time. I just don't know how someone could leave their wife and child. It is unreal to me. I don't even want to be with him. He has caused me insurmountable pain and does not deserve me. But why do I get so sad? I know more divorce papers are coming which will be another sad day. Any suggestions on how to keep your head up. I think I may exercise even though I am 37 weeks and ready to pop.

I wish I could understand how a man could leave his wife and child, but I don't think there is any excuse that would make it better. I hope you are able to find some peace. Pretty soon you will have your beautiful baby, stay focused on that. The thought of having my baby in my arms is what keeps me going. I know there is a reason this miracle was given to me at this point in my life. Stay strong and healthy.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by durham76:
<strong>I just don't know how someone could leave their wife and child. It is unreal to me.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Durham - it's unreal to us, too. I am personally embarassed for my gender. Please accept for now that there are real men out there. Wimps like your husband and other WSs of expectant wives do not represent quality integrity nor practice normally accepted norms of behavior, to say the least.

One way to look at it is that you will have the opportunity to raise your child with the assistance of a real father. Just don't go prospecting too soon. There are plenty of us out there.

WAT

Ditto WAT

Start making a list of what you want for yourself and your baby...and then never settle for less. Visualize everything you ever dreamed of and keep the visualization in your thoughts.
You are about to embark on a whole new wonderful journey.

I almost wish I had those days back to do all over again, when my daughter was a baby and miracles were all around me. What a happy time!

Weaver

Dear Durham,

Certainly H has lost quite a few points from your love bank. It may be that H will never figure out a way to win your love back.

I do suggest that you keep in mind the goal of keeping a position of superior power, over H. Deciding to date now, is certainly reasonable from many perspectives. The perspective that I see as important, your power in a divorce process, could be weakened if you date before the divorce is final.

Standing by a crumbling marriage is a challenge. Several posters have pointed out that things change after the child is born. I suggest a vision of H, that he has changed his mind, and he wants to resume his marriage with you, and you have H dangling on a string, ready to do almost anything you ask.

I suggest you smile at H for now, knowing what you have in store for him, after he realizes his mistake.

You need to keep a short leash on your attorney. Do you have someone to go with you when you visit your attorney? Your moods will be more variable as the birth approaches. If you happen to visit your attorney when you are particularly down on H, you may well end up with a quickie surprise divorce. Continuing to stand may take some assistance with gumption.

Blessings