Could be. My 7YO son is very disobedient right now and my 11 YO daughter is very clingy to her Mom. What to do I wonder to protect them ?

YOU need to be the best parent you can right now.
Let them know you love them.
Don't be "soft" and let them get away with stuff because you don't want to be too strict with them and make them "feel bad" with all the crapola going on.
They need a solid foundation right now and you can give it to them.

So ...my WW is only with me because OM hasn't sold his joint house with GF yet...... She really hates me right now. After a conversation. Why can't I just accept she loves him and not me ? Good point ? Why not ?

" don't tell me you love me any more ...it can't be one way '"

Hard times ....

Bob:

"So ...my WW is only with me because OM hasn't sold his joint house with GF yet......"

TELL THE GF

"She really hates me right now."

And in another hour, it'll be different. Then again an hour after that. Rollercoasters, particularly at the beginning of the course, have HUGE ups and downs.

"After a conversation. Why can't I just accept she loves him and not me ?"

Why should you accept what is wrong?

"Good point ? Why not ?"

Not good point. Foggy point. Why?

"" don't tell me you love me any more ...it can't be one way '"

Of course it can. And it is, and will be so long as she is in the fog. You loving your W will tweak her 2 no end, because it doesn't let her off the hook for her behavior. It'd be so much easier if you were a manipulative jerk.

"Hard times ...."

As are they all.

hang on,
-ol' 2long

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bob Pure:
[QB] So ...my WW is only with me because OM hasn't sold his joint house with GF yet......

Ladysing;
One important issue is being ignored here...the GF does not know about the affair! Is the house on the market? Does she know that she is being permanently replaced? Seems kind of wierd to me that your W is only staying because of an issue that is completely shrouded in FOG!

When the GF has been informed, then you will know if the OM has serious plans to leave her and be with your W. Until then, it's all fantasy, nothing real life here whatsoever... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I only have their home number. I keep calling.....

Are you calling to talk to the GF? Are you ready to tell her about the affair?

Do they have caller ID? You may have trouble getting in touch with her. You may have to write a letter and hand deliver it to her.

I know you don't have easy access, maybe a third party could help you investigate the best way to contact her. Just a thought...

I crashed my sportscar tonight. WW came to make sure I was OK. Hardly the action of a hateful spouse.

I am sad I crashed my car but y'know what? Its just a car. I want my WW back.

Bob,

I don't think i have posted to you before but i have followed your story. I am sorry for the pain you are in. I saw you post this in another thread, but figured it would be better to respond to it here than in that post as this is a thread you originated..

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> RRH I drove drunk tonight and decided to drive through a forest at speed. But I only ended up in a weed bed with a damaged car. I can't even do that right. * sigh *
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Please hear the importance of this message...

What you are doing is VERY dangerous!!! I know cuz i have done the same thing, well i don't drink, i just drive really fast with no regard to the danger i am putting myself in. A few years ago i used to really want to crash on purpose but i never could quite do it. I would drive at close to 100/mph and try to get myself to crash on purpose, I just couldn't get my arms to steer the wheel into that concrete barrior (there was a specific one). Finally I got help and ended up taking 3 months off and was in a mental health day program. It helped. I stopped considering that option.

Lately I have realized that, although I don't acknowledge that I am doing this on purpose, I have started driving very carelessly again. This realization really came a few weeks ago when i lost control of the car and did some serious damage to the side of my van. I ended up facing the wrong way on the on ramp of an expressway, had there been a car/truck behind me when this happened, i could of been seriously hurt. Or worse yet, i could have caused someone else, an innocent by-stander, to be seriously hurt.

Since then I have commited to myself to be a safe driver. At this point I am actually fearful of my driving. I would just as soon not drive at all. For too long, driving was when i would feel the worst about life. That has to stop!!

Please think about what I am saying and DO NOT drive when you are drunk or when you are emotionally incapable of driving.

All this stuff is really hard to deal with, i'm the WS so I did this to myself, i know you are a BS and therefore the pain must be so much worse. But no matter what, stay safe. Life is precious and we should not be so careless about that.

Karen

Sounds like you went a little crazy there, Bob. My man, you are smart enough to know when your emotions have taken control of you. And you're also smart enough to know that they can often lead you to do stupid things that are good for nobody. 'Nuff said?

Okay then. Stop being a "pathetic shadow" of a man (your words). That can happen right now. I know you're early in this, and the pain is great. Do I ever know. I don't know if your ADs have started working, but I bet your doc told you not to drink while you were taking them. So listen. Don't be a [censored]. Be strong strong strong! Dust off, and plan to be smiling again someday soon.

GC

I'm with GC... I'm from the school of hard knocks and regardless to how bad you feel don't destroy your life. Come on BOB like I said earlier this is UNACCEPTABLE and there is NO excuse. I know folks might not agree with me, but
"IT'S GUT CHECK TIME!"

Ride it out (NOT IN YOUR CAR)
Breathe
Cry
Cry some more
Time to take up a physical sport
or something to release your PAIN
Hurting yourself won't help.
I have an aggressive personality and I'm a little thick-headed, but regardless to what my W does or doesn't do I will not let her DESTROY my life or my SPIRIT!

Contact your DR. and stop mixing meds w/ alcohol and driving with alcohol and your own sense of WORTH with your WW's BAD CHOICES.

I coulda used that sports car Bob, if my W leaves me for good in the coming weeks at least I could look cool. Bob sometimes yah gotta step outside the craziness and the pain. No keys for Bob! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

"who wants to live forever when love must die? "

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bob Pure:
<strong> "who wants to live forever when love must die? " </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you a religious person?
Who says LOVE is dead?
What about your kids?

I'm confused. Whose love is it now that must die?