I've only posted here a few times... my last "thread" got no response at all.

But, here goes!

My WH seems to be distant and not really talking to me. I feel like I'm one big bowl of jelly and all my emotions are oosing out the sides. I'm trying to stay hopeful and encouraging. I just don't know if I should hold on or pull back. I don't know if I'm smothering or be supportive.

I thought I was confused before I know what was up. I'm even more confused now. LOL

I just want to know if this is "normal" ... whateva "noraml" (not really relative).

Anyway ..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I'm in the same boat. I think my H is going through "withdrawl" too. I feel like my life is slipping away from me. Hang in there. Keep posting...people will respond with some good advice. Unfortunately I don't have any since I just found out a week ago that my H was having an A for over a year. My emotions are all over the place.
Sorry!!!

tree'

I hear ya! It's like I'm feeling guilty he had an EA. And now *I* should somehow "help" him fix it. (And I sincerely do want to "help" him).
I think in some ways I've become the (emotionally) stronger. We've had some major role reversal in a 11 years of marriage (11 years on08/07/2004).

I just don't know which way to go. Definitely a roller coaster ride of emotions.

Last night I read some cards and letters I wrote a million years ago and I still feel the same way about my H. (don't know if that's even good or bad)

The bottom-line is my H is hurting and I really don't know how I can help him. I have even consider asking the OW - Well, not really. She doesn't have the 13 years experience of Loving him and knowing him (but I don't even know if I know him)

Urgh!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I feel the same way you do. I just feel like I don't even know who my H is anymore. It's really sad that after 14 yrs. of marriage I feel like I can't even be myself around him. He's like a stranger to me right now.
I asked him tonight if he missed me at all and he said no. That just about killed me. He said he's still so confused. God...how long will it take him to realize what he's doing to his family? Ugghhh!!!! I guess I need to really stick to Plan A and not talk about our relationship and be the person he married so long ago. This is so hard!!!!!!
Is your H still involved with OW? Is he living at home?

he's syas NC w/ OW. He's still here. He says he "wants" our M to work. (I beleive him).

He's even actively seeking therapy for his...hum..."confusion". I even willing to help him do that ... he helped me when I had a "my Breakdown".

I know it's all "new". I know there was a point of "hopeless" for the both of us and our M. I know I have to be strong for our kids and for myself (and him too!)

You're right, it is hard not talk about our R, when that's all I F'ing think about. It hurts to hear "I just don't know".

I know my H misses his "best friend" (ME). But, I tell ya it's pretty to be a "friend" when "I don't know" how to be anymore myself. I'm trying and it's so hard, painful, and confusing.

I don't know whether to say "I L Y" or "see ya!". I don't know whether to "hug" or even ask for a "hug". ( I think he said Sex was OK lol - since that is one of our problems .... time and quanity).

Hang in there!!!! (I find myself saying that alot)..........

Hi brown,

Please read this thread: WS to XWs to Spouse . Can you see where he is at?

R U 2 working with any type of MC or doing phone counseling with Steve @ MB? It maybe helpful even if you initially go by yourself.

When recovery starts, even the false recoveries leave the BS feeling down in the dumps. Why? Because the trust factor is broken and the WS must fix it not the BS.

What reading have you done from here? Where are you in your plan A vs plan B tactics?

L.

<small>[ July 30, 2004, 01:58 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>