Well,last night my dear WH told me that one of our closest friends who was in our wedding party is getting a D.He's been married a year.UGH.

What went wrong? Well it turns out that "Johns" new wife isn't what she appeared to be.Apparently she has all kinds of baggage not seen pre-wedding and has put up all kinds of walls and was told by a friend of the wife that she has been involved with another woman! This woman,his wife,was a triathlete and very attractive which is part of the draw.But,looks can be deceiving right? Not only that,our friend is very wealthy and now he is living a nightmare about his financial situation.The woman did sign a prenup but she is going into battle.I feel so badly for our friend but I think he married in haste(his second marriage too).

So,my WH and I talked briefly about it and I got the distinct impression that my WH feels like it would never happen to him.He thinks he knows his homewrecker SO well after only a year of sporadic meetings and e-mails and cell phone calls.He still misses the BIG picture here which is this woman is involved with a MARRIED man.Doesn't he see what kind of a person that is?

How can people be so dang deceiving?? What happened to pure and honest relationships? Geeze,I feel like a loner here.All I wanted was to spend the rest of my life loving my WH.I get shot down,crash and burn and he walks away from the wreckage like I never mattered to him at all.GRRRRR.

It feels a little scary to know that this is what I have to look forward to should I choose to date again.I get to wonder if I am being lied to,used or if I am dating a psycho.I just don't think I could ever get married again knowing there are people out there who would wantonly deceive and use other's for their selfishness.Ugh.I might as well live in a vacuum,that way nobody can hurt me again.

Sorry,I am on a pity pot today.Better get myself busy.

O

<small>[ July 30, 2004, 11:51 AM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

I know exactly how you feel. I never knew there could be so many cruel, heartless people out there. I use to look at my husband and think to myself how lucky I was to have gotten one of the good ones. How wrong was I?

Exactly how I feel.

It takes a certain abount of innocense and trust to fall in love. But what if it happens again, when does the innocense and trust go away for good.

I've been asked out a few times sense I asked Xfiance to move out, but have absolutely NO desire to date. Instead I am working on me, making sure I am happy and fulfilled as a single person, so no one can hurt me again. ( Well I am dating my X now, but will never live with or marry him until I know with out a shadow of a doubt it will be good for me to do so.) (and for my daughter)

OctoberGirl,
You read my mind. Your words are exactly how I feel and think sometimes. I really thought I found a man that was different from the rest. How could I be that bad at judging someone? If my marriage doesn't work out how can I trust someone else with my heart?

Somehow I became the bad person in this whole A. OW is seen as the savior and I am left to pick up the pieces. That makes me so angry. Doesn't marriage mean anything these days?

OG, tough days are still ahead for all.

Know YOU ARE THE BETTER PERSON HERE!!! You did not LIE or DECEIVE your SPOUSE!! HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH!!!!

I really believe all BS' have the ability to find that innocence again...granted, not overnight, but it can happen, I have faith in myself and belive I am capable of once again finding a good person.

OG, your WH does not DESERVE YOU....remember this as time goes on because this thought will carry you through the confusion. Focus on YOU!

SML, these WS will always deflect the blame on the BS...I know this well but truly know I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR!! God gave us all Free Will to choose between Good and Evil....and they have all broken the 6th Commandment, No Excuse, No Justification, NO WAY, NO HOW!!!!

I am really sick of our society and how it seems to condone and rationalize this behavior...is this really what we have turned into? I do not think everyone feels this way, but it seems the glossy magazines like Glamour/Cosmo/etc. get the headlines at the newstand and then Newsweek follows up.

It really is a different world than it was 50 years ago...or maybe not?