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Am I being a doormat?????
#1165845 08/02/04 12:31 AM
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TreeReich*
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If I stand for my marriage and want to work things out am I being a doormat? I feel like if you love someone enough you will tough it out and get to thr root of the problem and work it out but my H is making me feel like I'm being a doormat. He says he never allowed himself to fall in love with the other woman but that's not how he acts. He says he has feelings for her....well isn't that love?
Re: Am I being a doormat?????
#1165846 08/02/04 12:39 AM
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Whether or not it's love is not a good question. Love is complicated, and takes many forms, and other things often masquerade in its disguise.

Pittman writes, "It is routine for a frantic cuckold to ask the question, 'Do you love him/her?' There is something so romantic and innocent in reducing these complex matters to such a simple yes or no question."

I think the trickiest thing about plan A is trying to be good and understanding and fill ENs while laying down enough boundaries that you are not disrespected. Your WS must see that you can fill his needs, and it's easy to make putting down a boundary to protect your self-respect turn into a big DJ or AO or other sorta love buster. But he must also respect you. Tricky, tricky.

GC
Re: Am I being a doormat?????
#1165847 08/01/04 07:57 PM
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How can I fulfil his needs when I am so Pissed!!!!!! I'm trying so hard. GOD, I hate this!!!!!!!! He hasn't said more than 2 words to me today. He's in the shower right now and is getting ready to go back to his brother's house. He just acts like he's mad at me as if I did something wrong. I just don't understand this!!!!!!!

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