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#1166193 08/02/04 11:06 AM
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Yesterday I was in my car, and this old song came on the radio. I listened like I have never listened before, and wow! Did it hit home.

For those of us who have dealt with a spouse/partner who has repeatedly made promises, who has used the right words, but not followed up with behavior, this will become almost a mantra.

I got to thinking...what if, what if we couldn't hear? What if we couldn't read? What if the only way our spouses could prove their love and their commitment was to show it? To behave in a committed and loving way? How different would our recoveries be? And how different our marriages!

Anyway, here are the lyrics to "More Than Words"

Sayin I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
Cause I'd already know

What would you do
If my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real

What would you say
If I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words...

Now that I've tried to
Talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is
Close your eyes and just reach out your hand

And touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
Cause I'd already know

What would you do
If my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real

What would you say
If I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

#1166194 08/02/04 11:18 AM
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I know that song, its a great one.

#1166195 08/02/04 11:24 AM
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Spinning,

Yes, a great song, and so appropriate to what so many of us are experiencing.

My WH has written me, emailed me, talked to me, promised me, you name it. But the behavior never follows the words.

That's why, when I heard this again yesterday, it kind of hit me right between the eyes. I'd like to send the lyrics to him, but they'd fall on deaf ears.

#1166196 08/02/04 11:30 AM
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ISGirl,

Who is the artist?

#1166197 08/03/04 12:04 AM
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Don't quote me - anyone feel free to come in and correct me - but I think it is a group called Extreme.

#1166198 08/03/04 12:09 AM
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Ah HA! Yes, It's Extreme. It sounded so familiar but couldn't place the artist. Thanks!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#1166199 08/03/04 12:33 AM
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Great song. I just wish it wasn't one of the songs my H had on a playlist dedicated to OW!

#1166200 08/02/04 01:13 PM
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Horizon,

Ouch! Sorry to hear that!

Hugs!

#1166201 08/02/04 02:03 PM
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My WH has been saying the same words for 16 months, and continues to live with OW. He called me today and said he would be by after I get home to work - that it is very important to talk to me.

How many times have I heard this before? Hope that I don't burst out laughing when he opens his mouth.

#1166202 08/02/04 02:06 PM
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believer,

Print out the lyrics and hand them to him.

Tell him: no more words, H! No written words, no spoken words. Prove to me what you want to accomplish by actions and behavior!

#1166203 08/02/04 02:13 PM
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ISgirl,

Did lost bird go back to the OW ? Was I reading that right in your sig line? If so I am so sorry.I hadn't seen any posts from you in a long time so I was hoping things were ok.

O

#1166204 08/02/04 02:22 PM
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Hi O,

Yeah, he came home - again - and bolted again. Denies he is with her but I know otherwise. He cannot stay away from her, so maybe they are better off together. This time he even had his mail forwarded. So it looks like he wants our marriage to be over.

#1166205 08/02/04 02:59 PM
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IS: That stinks. I am sorry. Maybe we had better take our mall shopping trip sooner!

Still plugging for you!

#1166206 08/02/04 07:24 PM
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SerendipiT,

Yes, it does stink. But if H decides OW is what he needs and wants, he should have her. I am not going to waste my life on someone who doesn't want me. But I do know one thing: my H will never find anyone who is a better friend, more loyal or devoted companion, or better wife. I've stood by him through a lot, including this A. And some day, he will realize that.

#1166207 08/02/04 07:55 PM
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ISGirl - You words ring so true. Your WS will realise how special you are (as will many WS's). I only hope that he does this before you have moved onto bigger and better things. I have the same conversation with WW. She says one thing, yet her actions betray her words. I am and probably always will be an actions speaks louder than words kind of guy. I am relatively new, approx 2.5 months into the betrayal / EA / A. But they all do read from the same script. I hope I find someone as loyal as you (and I) when this is all over <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . From the advice of the many good people on this site, there really is hope for all of us irrespective of the path we choose.


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