Good day! That was quite a heated discussion on your thread earlier. Very interesting. I myself was thinking about my style when dealing with opposition as I was posting on that thread this morning. I am definately a "peace-maker." I am especially good on committees, where decisions have to be agreed upon by diverse gatherings of individuals. I think I would be a good politician - ug.

I also happen to believe, though, that I am ineffective at communication when I am angry. The only way I can communicate when I am angry, is to dominate and intimidate, and get my way by others backing down. And that sucks!

There were other things I wanted to say on that thread this morning. BUT, I thought they would just inflame, not do any good. BUT, the comments I did make were so mild, they didn't do any good, either.

You asked me a question a long time ago. It was shortly after my H came home, and you asked me a question that I did not understand. You clarified, and I still didn't answer. I just let it drop off the board. I have no idea how to find it, and I'm sure you don't remember it. I have thought about not answering that question several times a week for the past month.

How weird am I???

Apparently, I don't have any answers, either. Just more questions.

I hope you have a great week! Keep asking us those hard questions.

SS

"How weird am I???"

~LOL~ .... I donno, you tell me!

It's taken me a long time to know how to stay calm when engaged in a heated debate. I'd say practice! It also does one good to discover where our own angry buttons are... and what pushes them, and how to react to the actual core issue, instead of the subject.

I get loads of practice with my son...

If I ever remember the question, I'll ask again. (HIGHLY UNlikely)

Pep

I also happen to believe, though, that I am ineffective at communication when I am angry. The only way I can communicate when I am angry, is to dominate and intimidate, and get my way by others backing down. And that sucks!

PS.... thinking again about kids and how they can yank your parental anger chain... start practicing with the kids .... stay calm in their storm. You'll be surprised at how utterly easy it is. It's as simple as making the decision to remain calm. Self talk that says, "No matter what, I will not yell or lose control."

Then you can parlay that practice to interactions with your spouse. Or your mother. or your MIL. or me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Many of us exercise this self control at work when our job depends on remaining calm. It's the same things.... just deciding to stay placid.

Pep

Pep said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> just deciding to stay placid.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SS says:

If you say so!