Quick history- 3 and a half years past PA- prior to PA we had a problem with an employee- he was her knight in Armor- fixed her vehicle- took care of making sure a dentist would see her- the list goes on- you get the picture. After the problems this caused in our marriage I decided to let him be who he was- explained to him how damaging this was to marriage etc. He of course has always believed that as long as he wasn't "having sex" with someone- he was doing nothing wrong.

This past week same exact scenario- different employee- she comes to work without proper clothing- he returns home (I am out of town) and lends her some of mine. Hmmmmm, I find this to be a bit over the line- then he spends a few hours fixing her vehicle- she has a husband whom she has recently split from, an ex she gets along with, a brother, and a father. Why him?

I have about decided that this man does not get it, will never get it and it is time to moosey on down the road. We have had numerous problems since recovery- no trust at all- he can't understand how taking another employee out for lunch, a looooong drive and to a bar for drinks is wrong, BECAUSE they didn't have sex.

Opinions, please, I am at the end of my rope here.

<small>[ August 03, 2004, 11:24 AM: Message edited by: Shul ]</small>

You might gently ask him to imagine how he would feel if you did the same thing.


Tell him that one of the things that you love about him is his compassion, but that if he is in a position where he knows a woman who really needs help, to refer them to you, his partner.

That you will do the same if you meet a man who needs clothing or whatever, refer them to your husband.