I was just wondering if this was normal? I can't even think about sex and the thought of ever being with my H again makes me sick. How can you go on having a normal sex life after and A? Even when I see sex/kissing on t.v it makes me sick. I have to change the channel. How do we overcome that? Will I be like this for a long time????

I am sorry you are taking it so hard. I wish I could help but I did not have that problem. Maybe because I was in other relationships before husband and realistically, it makes me feel like if another wants my man it is because he is desireable. I did feel sick about the idea and I do see pictures in my mind but I was able to repress those during sex. I wish I had an answer. Maybe a sex therapist could help.

Im also lost in a response....accept to say may be it is still the "shock" of the A?

I personally didn't have the problem you do. Just the opposite really...had a desire to "prove" something ??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I"m not sure really.

I do feel for you. Sex is a big part of loving in a M. At least for me it is? I hope you are able to get reassurance you need from you H and that with time you will be able to enjoy touch again.

I personally HATE watching movies or tv when their is an A topic! Cringe every time.

I think perhaps the answer is Time?

blessings,
Atruheart

This is a real worry of mine. The OM is the only other sexual partner my W has ever had. I have dreadful (unfair) thoughts of soiling and something special having gone which are probably unrealistic and unfair in the modern day and age. But thats how I feel. I cleaved unto her and she didn't cleave unto me.

I can't imagine ever making love with WW again. Which is a tragedy.

At this point there is NO intimacy between us. I just can't even imagine when there will be. I want to have that again with him one day. He says he can't imagine being close to me either. I'm sure his is out of guilt. I really miss being touched i a loving way and being held close to my H. How do I deal with all of these feelings? Does anybody have any stories of how long it took to get intimacy back with spouse????

Tree -

Just wondering if anything has been said about you and your H being tested for possible std's from OW? Sex is a very important part of M and can help with emotional healing, but you need to be safe.

Rose55

I also withdrew from intimacy for a few months.

I would even sleep outside in a sleeping bag,, just the thought of sleeping in the same house tore me up much less the same bed.

My wife was trying everything she could to make love to me. I kept rejecting. I treated her like she was dirty, damaged goods. I felt it would never be the same. One time I even stopped right in the heat of the moment and ran out to my brothers house just to get away.
Everytime I rejected my wife I damaged her resolve in me. She wanted me so bad. It is simply impossible for me to make love to my wife while thinking that not long ago another man was looking at her, touching her, kissing her body, it brought all of the nasty visions to the surface.
Someone who really helped me with good logical advice was NCWALKER on this forum.
He tried to show me how all of these feelings are physical and not emotional. I had to let my love for my wife overpower my physical thoughts.
So what if another man was in my hen house... does that make her damaged for life. I was not her only Sexual experience before we married. My wife was waking up every day and trying to get me to see she was not damaged.
After reading NCwalkers reply it hit home,, I was destroying my marriage over the physical factors of my wifes affair.
I started to look at sex with my wife in a loving emotional experience instead of a physical task.
The feeling was so strong it simply erased the visions of OM,, all I could think about was me and my wife.
When I finally got to that point I made love to my wife with all of my emotions it was incredible I made love to her from my heart,, we both cried the emotions were so strong.
Since that day I have never rejected my wifes advances,, in fact I am making advances to her.

You can make love to your WH he is not disgusting. You have to let all of your love for him out. ITS ALL PHYSICAL. Tons of love deposits occur during sex. It will help both of you fill your love banks. Have sex and have sex often.