Could anyone help me get a copy of the goodbye letter that the husband is supposed to send to his affair partner to break off the relationship? It would be greatly appreciated.

I found where I got a reply to this question yesterday. Sorry, but I am new at discussion forums. Thanks for everyone's help. It is much appreciated.

Chrys,
Sorry no one responded to you. That's the way of this board. Sommetimes an important topic gets lost in the shuffle.

The letter is called a no contact (NC) letter.

It should go something like this:

Other Woman's Name (notice no dear),
I (wayward spouse (WS) have made a terrible mistake. I have hurt the one person that has truely cared for me. I have broken the trust of the one person who trusted me completely. Our relationship has gone beyond proper boundaries and for that reason we can no longer be friends and we can never communicate ever again.

Do not try to contact me. I will not respond. I will immediately tell my wife if you even attept to contact me. I deeply regret my relationship with you.

Husband

Notice that I didn't use "dear" in the salutation nor did I have any pleasantries in the ending. I did not say "have a good life" I definitely did not say anything about how special our relationship was while it lasted.

Some people want to say that they regret that the relationship got out of control and ruined a good friendship. IMHO it shouldn't even say that. All of the regret and guilt should be addressed to the spouse and NOT the other party (OP).

Is the OW married? If so, have you told her H? You should and you should do it now. Do not let your H negotiate with you. I say do it now bc once NC starts it goes for you and OP's S as well. The betrayed spouses should only speak after NC is initiated as a last resort if one suspects renewed contact.

Make sense?

Mac