We are 1 week past D-Day and yesterday I told my parents, that "I got real problems at home, and alot of them start from my decision to move next to door to my parents, and my wife has felt alienated from me and that has opened the door for an EA with a Dr. from her work place."

I was asking for help finacially (I work for my parents company too) so that we could afford it if my wife had to quit her job.

When I told my wife this she freak out and said that I betrayed her and that this was private and that she could never trust me, and how she said that she didn't think the M could ever work because she is too humiliated.

I tried to tell her that its not all her fault but that it is simply a symptom of her needs not being met by me. But she just shut down.

Is there anything I can say or do to help through this?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Originally posted by Really Sad:

When I told my wife this she freak out and said that I betrayed her and that this was private and that she could never trust me, and how she said that she didn't think the M could ever work because she is too humiliated.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Try this:

"I agree, and I can relate to what you're feeling. I also feel humiliated. I also feel my privacy has been violated. I can very much relate to your emotional turmoil. Mine is great as well. This is a mess. We are trying to to do whatever is necessary to protect our marriage from affairs and unhappiness, right? ...

Irregardless of my feelings of hurt, embarrasment and humiliation I am willing to face these challenges. I think our families will be there to support us because we are doing the right thing by holding on to our vows, and working to repair the love and respect we have for each other. We want our marriage to grow from this experience, yes? This is very upsetting and emotional for both of us , I agree."

Draw a verbal loop.... start with agreeing.... end with agreeing.

Pep