Hi I am new to this so excuse me if I get some acronyms wrong. I have been lurking for about a week and reading has really encouraged me. My H had his 2nd A recently. D-Day was 3/3/04. Since I handled the first A badly I was determined to do this one differently. I told him if he wanted to continue to see OW he had to move out of our house. I allowed him to come by every evening to see our children. It was very hard on our D because she is very attached to H. I was nice to him, but firm that he could not come home until he ended the A. I guess we handled it pretty well because my D was happy seeing her daddy every day. Well, two weeks into the separation he asked to come home. He agreed to my conditions which were end the A, meet with the leaders of our church and do whatever they expect of him, and work on our M. About 1 week after he came back we went into MC. I had been in IC for several months which really helped me handle all of this with very little anger. Our MC was going really well and it felt like we were making great strides, but a few weeks into it I knew something was going on. He denied it so vehemently I thought maybe I was nuts. Guess what! He came to me in June and told me he had gone back to seeing OW. She called our pastor which is why he came clean to me. She wanted to know if he was getting D'd why was he in MC with me?

He agreed to end it and he confessed to our church. He confessed to our MC as well and we have continued working on our M. About 3 weeks later he gets a call that OW is pg. He broke that to me right away. Of course that meant unprotected sex, but I had already insisted we both be tested for STD's and we are both clean.

Beacause of the pg H has not gone NC with OW. He "allows" OW to call him regarding the pg. This is against my wishes and our MC told him he needs to stop. I have gotten the sinking feeling recently that the C has increased because now the cell phone never leaves his truck. He used to bring it in the house and leave out in the open. This has caused great stress for me and I have LB'd quite a bit. I want to implement a good Plan A. I know he wants to be home with me, I don't know what the attraction is to continuing the R with OW. But I feel right now Plan A is where I need to be. How do I find one? I don't know how to search this site very well yet. Sorry this was so long.

married 13 years
DD 11
DS 6
Dday 3/3/04
A resumed 3 weeks later
2nd d day 6/29/04

If the OW is truly pregnant, your H has legal responsibilities to that child which greatly complicate no contact.

There is a forum here on MB devoted to BS/WSs experiencing OW pregnancy & child:

Pregnancy/Child

You could copy your post and also place it on that forum for experienced help.

Plan A is a good idea and a method for dealing with an ongoing affair. You can find out more about Plan A by choosing the Home link right at the top of the page. On the Home page upper right is a "search this site" link and you can click it, type in Plan A and it will take you right to a complete description.

There's a lot of information on this site, you've come to a good place.