No dull sex once a month in an ironed shirt? You're expecting a lot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

LMAO @ believer ! * wipes tears away ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> *

Very funny !

....but a few years ago she used to quit MID ironing , call me to make love in the laundry room... * sigh *.

I never wore wrinkled shirts more proudly <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I never wore wrinkled shirts more proudly
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Aw geeze louise! You know Bob and Mrs. Bob, when you make that trip to my quaint little drinking village with the fishing problem....if Bob's shirts have ONE little wrinkle, I'm pulling you aside Mrs. Bob, and thwopping you upside the head with the words, "Ironing, schmironing. Haven't you seen Stripes? The kitchen is WAY more fun, and you don't end up with 3rd degree burns from the iron falling off the damn board."

- Kimmy

Kimmy/All
I got me glad rags on and went for a beer in the city with some friends last night. A much needed break. Bizarre that I was hit on by two ladies, which I found quite flattering ( as they weren't completely drunk ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ).

Two attractive young women I never met before who only know I look OK and can be funny think I'm a good bet for a date, yet my FWW who knows all that AND knows I am tender, caring, a good father, good provider etc etc chose to have an A with a jobless old gremlin). * sigh *

Its no good for a boy's self esteem y'know !

I just saw this thread. Is it still going on?

[Wanders in from Northern Michigan and sits down quietly in the back]

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bob Pure:

Two attractive young women I never met before who only know I look OK and can be funny think I'm a good bet for a date, yet my FWW who knows all that AND knows I am tender, caring, a good father, good provider etc etc chose to have an A with a jobless old gremlin). * sigh *

Its no good for a boy's self esteem y'know ! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When someone has an affair with a sub-optimal partner... it often means they never intended to leave their spouse. He met some needs, but not husband material. (no matter what sort of crap they told each other in order to justify the relatioship)

If your W had chosen a Colin Firth type as her affair partner, then it would have been more of a threat to your marriage. But she did not choose in that direction because she never intended to leave you.

My H's affair was with a woman who did not finish high school. It took me awhile to figure out what was so attractive about her, besides the fact that she is very pretty. And later, H told me she was actually safe to have a fling with because he knew an affair with her would never tempt him to leave me.

Get it now?

Pep

Pep that makes logical sense. But was this stuff just fog from FWW then ?:

* She converted our kids college savings account ( in her name for tax reasons) to a checking account from a high interest one so she'd have instant access to funds.
* She did five-ten lottery tickets per week during the A and watched FERVENTLY for the big win to come up (I actually find this pathetically touching even now)
* She wrote OM " I will go anywhere, do anything to spend my life with you". (In fact OM GF related to me that OM was scared after PA started as my FWW was so obsessed and fervent about being together).
* She tried really hard to get a job without my knowing
* She had out home valued by an estate agent without telling me

Now I know this was probably just part of the fantasy 'cos on D-day I calmly gave her the choice to go if she wanted and she chose to stay.

She was completely delusional about OM too - on the day I exposed his GF told him " we split the house and all funds NOW, we agree access to our son and you f'k off out of our lives. No bitterness."

OM cried, denied the A, in fact got my FWW to call his GF and SWEAR there was no affair. He then booked a reconciliation holiday with his GF. He told my FWW " its so she will be 'softened up' so I can leave when the time is right".

My FWW believed that, maybe still does.. * sigh *.

I have asked FWW since if she intended to leave me for him and she has replied " I don't think so" and " I don't know".
She sure behaved like she wanted to.

Finally I have considered if OM HAD been 'Colin Firth' type I would have felt: " well, I've been bested. Fair enough".

But , even my personal bias aside, the facts show OM to be sub-HUMAN not just sub-optimal.

Hasn't worked since his first divorce, never finished high school, three divorces and five estranged kids he never sees behind him ( four now, tragically) and VERY short, old, piggy blonde and as unfashionable as a shell-suit. I could go on.

I'm not even sure yet what ENs he met other than admiration through flattery and conversation.

Thought provoking Pep, thanks. Sorry I rambled a bit, but you know me, right <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ October 30, 2004, 11:17 AM: Message edited by: Bob Pure ]</small>