Ok so I have really started this Plan A process, but man it seems like everything I say or do gets completely thrown in my face with ten times the force.

She had a very serious year long EA that she finally confessed t0 10 days ago.

Right now she is furious with me for telling my parents. She says that I am slandering her because they will think it was a PA and "they never did anything wrong"

She is mad because I called to confirm a number off her cell phone bill. Happened to be OG and when he saw I called his cell phone he dumped her. So she didn't get to contol how her EA ended. So she's mad at me.

She wants me to leave the house for the weekend so she can be with the kids AWAY from me. And when I said I would stay. She said she was going to call her lawyer.

When I said that she need to get some help she responed 2 ways first, I am an adult and I can handle it myself, or "FINE so I'm the one with the problem."

This is just crazy, she goes on the affair and now I'm the bad guy. I know I should stick around, but man, this is freakin brutal.

Sad

Hm, that is serious FOG! Just hang in there. It is hard...very hard. I read alot, walk alot, write alot, just about anything to keep my mind busy. Listen to what is being said without listening. Don't take it to heart. Just keep on keepin' on...that's what I do.

EA can be just as painful as PA's, sometimes even more...

Don't leave your home. If she has a problem with you being there or she needs to 'get away to clear her head', have her pack her stuff and go somewhere. You stay put with the kids.

Both people generally contribute equally to the breakdown of a marriage, but it was her decision to have the EA. Once the dust settles a bit, you will have to evaluate how your relationship got to this point, but right now is not the time.

She's angry right now because her secret was exposed and the OW dumped her. You did the right thing. One cannot be married and at the same time carry on with another person.

Let her call the lawyer which I doubt she'll do. She's just trying to scare you.

Be firm, but loving and stay strong and stay put!

K.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Really Sad:
[She wants me to leave the house for the weekend so she can be with the kids AWAY from me. And when I said I would stay. She said she was going to call her lawyer.
[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Really Sad:

I am new to this site. I've only posted a few times. I'm mostly a lurker. And I will be honest and tell you that I am the one in my marriage that had the affair. (I haven't learned all of the initials yet... sorry) I think that means I am a WW. (I'm being sincere here, please hold off on the 2X4's <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )
I read your post, and had a strong feeling to reply to you.
Do not leave your house or your children. Yes your W may be in some type of a "fog" right now. But the one thing I can tell you is that leaving her for any amount of time right now is not going to help in any way. Clearing her mind or needing space is slang for "I'm waiting for OM to make some kind of contact" I asked my H on numerous occasions for a temp. seperation. I was so ashamed that I wanted to run, hide. But of course at the same time I still wanted the OM too. How convienient that would've been, don't you think? But my H didn't give up.
With in two days of me "coming clean" with my H, his entire family new about it. Very big, close family. And I had to face everyone of them. And yes, it pissed me off. I felt betrayed and hurt that he would share such intimate details about OUR life. (Can you believe I actually felt that way!, look at what I had done!!!)But you know what, it was the shame, the guilt, and the pain that I just didn't want to deal with. I was embarrased of what I had done. But I should have been!!!
I am not a bad person. I made a terrible, terrible mistake, and I am still dealing with it every day. But I am sure of one thing... If my H hadn't loved our marriage enough for the both of us, we would be seperated right now. Shame can make a person run... Good or bad. It was the coward in me. Hold on as long as you can. But DO NOT leave your kids or your home!
HTH, and I am sorry for your pain.

<small>[ August 06, 2004, 02:25 PM: Message edited by: sakari ]</small>

The sure fire trick to staying on course with all her blabber is to remember that her brains have been experimented on by aliens.

Can you think of a more believable reason? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Didn't think so.

Just re-read what you wrote that she said. Pretty bizarre, huh? And pretty typical.

So just pass it off as foglatin and don't take ANYTHING she says seriously.

sakari - welcome and you are needed here. This site would not be as successful as it is without folks like you being willing to share your experiences. The times WSs get flamed here is when someone detects rationalization or WS attempts to justify their affairs. Truly former WSs are embraced.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Originally posted by sakari:


I am new to this site.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But, already you show uncommon wisdom!

Nice to have you here.

Pep

Sad:
Well? How was the weekend? Any progress? I hope you're well.

Wortharty & Pep:
Thanks for the welcome. Me wise... hhhmmm, never thought that, and I wouldn't ever think that I am worthy of advice, but all the same, thank you...