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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 22
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I am experiencing so much with not being in contact with my H. He is living on his own in apartment 10 minutes away and I can't stop thinking about him. I am in plan B, but it is so painful. I put myself in this plan after he called and said no to working on reconcilliation, (that he asked for and because I said no to after a week of me trying, unless he breaks it off with OW). He did this but then raged at me for MAKING him. I heard nothing but anger and accustions from him after that. In the last two phone calls he made to me over two weeks ago he was civil but stated he feels sorry for me that I have feelings for him. That cut to the quick. I feel I must stay away, but then all the confussion and fear tries to over take my decision, does anyone else have experience in this? Please give me some feed back.

Joined: Sep 2003
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How long have you been in PlanA?

Joined: Oct 2000
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What your H says to you in a rage is what he feels about himself. Whatever he says, reverse it.

"He feels sorry for me that I have feelings for him" ---> translation ---> "I am such a schmuck. Why does she want me?"

He's all blustery because he's not getting what he wants without consequences.

BooHoo

Reality bites, and your H howls his rage.

Lay low. Keep away from him. Deal with your feelings on your own right now. You're right, his company is not a safe place for you to be right now. He will hurt you with any contact right now because he is NOT happy about who he has become.

Stay dark.

Pep

Joined: Mar 2000
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I agree with Pepp!
I am in Plan A...My H has moved out but still comes over every day to see our son. We're all in pain here and will try to help. Everybody keeps telling me to hang in there so I'm passing that advice on to you! I know it is hard...beleive me I know! Our H are in such a fog they don't know what they are feeling or saying.
Keep your chin up and keep posting!!

Joined: Jun 2004
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Thanks for the advice, I am second guessing myself I guess. Last weekend I went through so much withdrawl, wondering if he started it up again with her. She lives 3 hours away, but it was long weekend here and I wondered and wondered and almost drove myself insane. My two daugters haven't even heard from him either, they are both are their own and they tell me Mom he's not working on any relationship right now, so don't panic. I am so connected to him that it hurts so much. I did Plan A from April 19th until July 8th and then when he called and said no to reconcilliation I told him I would let him go, you know where I am if you change your mind, I love you and I will pray for you. I have made no contact since then. He has called me twice to put me on his medical because I lost my Job on June 30th due to all the stress. He was kind when he called me, and I didn't hear anger in his voice, but I did bear up under the comment I feel sorry for you because you have feelings for me. I am working on me right now, and its hard, because we have been together for over 25 years and have been the best of friends as well as married. He told me that he almost destroyed his marriage and his best friend back in May, and then is where we are now.


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