My H once told me that it was the way I asked to see his cell and email which effected his response. He would get nasty about it and explode if I had an accusing, nasty tone in my voice when asking to see it.

I have noticed that trying to sound matter of fact and downright sweet when requesting a spot viewing......he is less offended or should I say guilty appearing!

Hopefully you have nothing to find. Keep on your toes and keep that sweet, loving voice when you must inquire!

Lay your hand across his crotch when you ask to see his email...

My final answer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong> Lay your hand across his crotch when you ask to see his email...

My final answer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Pep </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I must remember to make sure and not have just taken a sip of coffee before reading when yours is the last post, Pep. A sugar free vanilla breve latte is not nearly as good going out through the nose as it is going in through the mouth!

Next time I ask I'll need to be sure and be aware of my hands and my voice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

What I did do was ask him into the bedroom really quick after he brought the kids home. Had him close his eyes and open his mouth.

I popped in a really good swiss chocolate, said "Thank you", kissed him and turned to go. He grabbed my hand and with a funny look on his face asked, "For what?". I said, "For showing me how much I can trust you."

Right now he's running to the store and gave me a kiss before he left. I'm starting some pumpkin bread for after dinner and it just started to rain so we'll have a nice fire and a game of UNO with the kids.

Then the real games begin when they go to bed <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

aha! A fellow breve latte lover!

Faith, why not just put spyware on his computer instead of going through all this?

Spyware? I've thought about it...believe me. However, my WH is a whiz with computers and is a computer counter-intelligence trained. That wasn't his main job in the military, but he's had quite a bit of training in that area and is in fact looking into a job in that field with Homeland Security.

His laptop has all the bells and whistles and I'm fairly certain he could detect it. I'm not positive though. I'm not sure how to figure it out other than doing it and most likely getting caught.

Heck, I can't believe I figured out the password to get into his computer!! I just think he assumes I'm not as good as I am. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I'm seriously considering the voice activated recorder in his truck though.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
<strong>Faith, why not just put spyware on his computer instead of going through all this? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's a good idea, considering he'll now always purge the e-mail trash and cover his tracks completely. 'Course, the Dork drug causes mental lapses.

For the record, I would not want to run into you ladies in a dark latte bar. You are WAY too tough for me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WAT

My attorney told me that Radio Shack sold some type of device that will record phone conversations and costs about $50. He could be calling collect from the house and there would be no evidence on the phone bill. In case they discover phone cards there is also the voice activated recorders.

From experience I remember going crazy chasing down the activities of my stbx. It drug me down worse than anything. Your family will feel the stress. Trust your instincts.

Glad to hear FIM that you finally called the Harleys. I sometimes feel as if my posts are ignored or dismissed after all my marriage was a complete failure...and my extremely dry sense of humor I sometimes worry is interpreted as smart alec...

I agree Plan A him for now and let it go. I too am sure she's freaking out as well...

<small>[ September 08, 2004, 06:18 PM: Message edited by: jph ]</small>

Faith, my DH is a petroleum engineer who specializes in computers and he has never found it! It is invisible as long as you install it correctly.

I don't know how he could find it unless he understands the specific key to the specific spyware. That would be so much better than grilling him every day. And it really is easy to install and hide.

A good one is ActMon at www.iopus.com

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by worthatry:
<strong>

For the record, I would not want to run into you ladies in a dark latte bar. You are WAY too tough for me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WAT </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">you should be scared, yankee boy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by jph:
<strong> I sometimes feel as if my posts are ignored or dismissed after all my marriage was a complete failure...and my extremely dry sense of humor I sometimes worry is interpreted as smart alec...

I agree Plan A him for now and let it go. I too am sure she's freaking out as well... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, no, no! I never ignore your posts...don't think that. I'm a world class smart alec and appreciate that in people <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You know, this has got me thinking... he really may not have anything protecting his laptop. Hibernating his computer is not the smartest thing to do. I get into his emails because he leaves his email accounts up when he hibernates. Granted, he doesn't think I know the password, but it's still not very smart. Even I don't hibernate my computer when I have sensitive information to keep from people.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

food for thought.

I'll check out that link Melody.

THANK YOU!

<small>[ September 08, 2004, 06:37 PM: Message edited by: faithinme ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
<strong>you should be scared, yankee boy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yankee boy??

YANKEE BOY?!?!?!?!?!

Whoa - that's REALLY low. You're praising latte and you call ME yankee boy??? Sheeese!!

OK, you asked for it > If the Alamo had had a back door, the capital of Mexico would be Austin. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Island Boy

BREVE latte, WAT....

Totally different than a simple latte:)

I don't know what the heck that is!!

Jus gimme two cups of joe each mornin' with a pack of Equal each. No foam, no nuts, no fruit, nothin' else!

faith -

I would assume that he is not contacting OW, even if he is. It will come out soon if he is. I spent waaaaayyyyyyyyy too much time trying to catch WH. When I did it just made me angrier. I wish I had just done a great Plan A, and left it at that.

Your WH has been away from his family for a long time. I would knock his socks off with SF, outfits, nice meals, family time, and dates with just the two of you.

OW cannot compete.

If he is looking for a job in Homeland Security, he needs to get a resume on www.usajobs.opm. That is where the first hiring is from. They are hiring like crazy all over the country.

Also try www.cbp.gov

I am a Customs Broker and this is where several of the new officers tell me they went.


- on the home page click on jobs, then legal notices, then careers. The link takes you out of custom's offical web site but the site is legit and works in conjunction with CBP.

This is what I've been told anyway.

believer and weaver... Thank you for the links. I looked them over and there are definately some jobs that would work for WH. Most are in DC, but as long as its not SA, I'm a HAPPY CAMPER <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


I'm letting the contact thing go for now. If I come across proof, I'll act. Until then, believer, I'm taking the PLAN A road. Hopefully, to recovery lane!!

faith -

Let me know if you need some tips on putting his resume in. I know them all. There are Homeland Security jobs all over the country. I know several people that took jobs in San Diego.

In the meantime, I would forget checking up on him too closely. Just relax and assume he is with you. I would heavily hit the SF department, and let him settle in to being back home.

The longer he is with you, the more OW will go berzerko. That is good. You be the loving, admiring wife.

Yes, just keep with plan a, a little more liberal for now. (You'll go crazy checking) and let the OW LB-and she will. You are doing fine.

Last night didn't end up going as planned, darn it!

I made dinner and we had a "picnic" in the living room and watched a movie with the kids. That was nice and it was a movie we've watched quite a few times together as a family over the years. We started it kind of late though and I was really sleepy for some reason and ended up falling asleep on WH lap. That was nice.

But then, when we went to bed later, I made my move and he said he was tired and just wanted to go to sleep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Not like him. Especially since earlier we had been joking around about it and were being quite flirty <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

This morning he said that he was missing OW last night and the day as a whole had been difficult for him due to NC. He felt guilty about it since he was thinking about her.

I about wanted to gag over that, but I didn't. I just listened and gave him a hug.

So, I'm just gonna have to try and keep his mind on ME today and tonight. Since I had fallen asleep during the movie I hadn't put on anything special before bed except my normal little sheer nightie. Granted, it's darn cute, but I'll have to amp it up tonight as originally planned.

After I left for work I picked him up a coffee and pastry, dropped it off to him and left my "Ten Reasons I Love You Today" list on his computer.

That will have to do for this morning.