"I pulled all the bedding out of our trailer and ran over it several times with my truck, then I threw all his stuff out of the trailer and smashed it with a shovel. "

I'm sorry. I can't stop laughing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

a 2ple of years ago, a BW who's name escapes me at the moment posted what SHE did when her H moved in with his OW. She rented a dump truck, loaded his stuff in2 it, and dumped it on their driveway. Broke a lot of stuff that she had 2 pay for, but she said it was worth it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

sometimes a little drama is healthy, doncha think? Or doncha?
-ol' 2long

weaver,

It's been a while but I *think I posted to you when you first came here.You are the one that was involved with a married man unbeknownst to you at the time right? Then you broke it off 8 months later right?

If so,this man that you love has some real issues that he obviously has not dealt with before and blatantly is doing it all over again but now against you.Geeze.

I can understand your fear about loving again "like you did with him" but honestly,if you look at these feelings you have for this adulterer,isn't it a bit like the feelings one may have as addicted to heroin? Is life all about that feeling? Isn't it detrimental to your health??

If I were you,I would say Good bye and have a nice life.Be glad you weren't his next married victim.There would be much more heartache if you went that far in trusting him and taking vows.JMHO.

O

The property is in both our names, it was done on a land contract because of his bankruptcy with his last wife...he has no credit. He lost everything in that divorce.

I put the down payment on it with the agreement that he would make all payments on the land contract. If he defaults on the land contract payments, I will pick them up.

I know I made a mistake in buying property with a man I knew so little of, but it is done.

I am now looking at this property as an investment for my daughter and me. I will not sign it over to him, I will sell when the price is right and split with him like I am obligated to. A lesson learned, but still a good investment for my daughters university if necessary, and for my retirement.

I think he wants me off of it now, because then he will get full profit when the time is right to sell. It is 455' of waterfront and very valuable. I am not stupid and I will never sign it over to him like his children and him want me to.

Weaver...you are a special gal. You are the type of gal I would love to have over for drinks or invite to a dinner party. I love and admire strong women like you!

Sadly, I agree with everyone else's comments.

Weaver, I loved my WH with every cell of my being. I KNEW he was my soulmate, and the one true love for me.

During our dating relationship he cheated on me TWICE. And, he was dating someone else when he met me.

I excused all of that away, because, I reasoned, that is the stuff of immature dating relationships. But when he recites those vows, I reasoned, he will know this is for real.

Weaver....I WAS SO WRONG.

And it made the betrayal all that much more painful.

And now I suspect there was another A in the 2nd/3rd year of our marriage.

WH was a dynamic, articulate, cute, brilliant, tender man.

WH is also an admitted habitual liar, and wonders if he is capable of having a sincere, commited relationship.

I saw all the signs, and could have spared myself, and now, sadly, my children (although I do not want to say I regret them, but, all the same) all this grief, if I would have applied some rational to the dating relationship, and all it was showing me that I refused to see.

I just hope you can see how unacceptable it is to deal with this crap now. Marriage is hard enough, Weaver. It is so unfair to yourself to stack the deck against yourself like that.

I feel confident this "test" you are setting forth for your ex-fiance will prove what everyone is saying...I doubt he will pass.

You are in my prayers.

By the way, when are you coming to FL for drinks or a dinner party?

2long - it was worth it!! I keep thinking should I have done that, but yeah, I had to do it, there was no way I could not do it. And it did feel good. Lucky for me, no police on the island, can you believe it, no police, no speed limits. And I'm going to tell you which island it is because it needs a little publicity to get the ole economy going - it is - the best kept secret in the U.S. As a geologist you might appreciate it. It is almost one big rock, can't even get water, have to pump in from Lake Superior, largest fresh water lake in the world, and the water on my island is salt water - go figure.

O and Pep -

I have no intentions of dating again, any time soon, I just don't have it in me. But do you remember that physchologist (sp) , the one who had the self actualization theory? Pep, you have a wonderful husband, you are in a position that you can self actualize. All your basic most primitive needs are being met, so you are secure enough that everything else is like self actualization, for lack of a better description.

The rest of us who do not have that, are lacking. And how do we get past that, and still become all that we can be. I don't know, it worries me.

Octobergirl,

You are facing the same and I have to say that I really admire you. You are a cool lady, I just know it. Thank you for replying to me O, I used to think you didn't like me because I was involved with a married man, so thank you!

<small>[ August 12, 2004, 02:53 AM: Message edited by: weaver ]</small>

I missed this sentence earlier:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by weaver:
<strong>What scares me the most is will I ever love again, like I did with him???</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No.

You will love BETTER!

weaver, if I can, anybody can.

Don't doubt it for a moment.

Thanks WAT,

I really needed to hear that tonight.

Weave

Weaver--

You are tempting me, you devil.

A couple of weeks ago I had to rescue a friend whose bike ran out of gas on the highway, so I've got a full gas can (long story). My car is a diesel, so I have no use for the gasoline.

So... here's my garage, with 8 huge boxes full of the sparrow's clothes, and 2 big boxes full of her shoes. She wears a size 6 shoe, so you can imagine how many pairs of shoes we're talking.

And there's that gas can, not 10 feet away, and good Gray on the one shoulder, bad Gray on the other, both whispering in my ear...

Weaver, I don't think this is going to be the relationship for you. You are too cool for a cheater, even if it only happened while he was a BF. Remember it happened before too.

GC

SerendipT -

Thank you.

I know he won't meet my demands too. I think it was the "bargaining" stage of my grief. I wasn't bargaining with him, but with myself, a way of prolonging acceptance, I suppose.

We'll get there, won't we.

Sunny FL for drinks? Sounds good to me, I'll have to wait until I am in better shape though. A few drinks for me right now, and I'll be a blubbering mass of incoherency.

Gray -

You sound so good, I remember what kind of shape you were in when you first came here. If I would have stuck to my guns then, I would have been so much further along, too.

You could never be destructive, you are so not like that. It shows in all your posts.

I just gave him a chance to tell everyone I'm psycho. I don't really care though, I'm too old to start worrying what people think of me now.