Holey Moley! Check out this letter, sent to the OM (and maybe his employers at Homeland Security) anonymously by one of our friends. WW is apparently parading OM around now that DV is final I’ve gotten a lot of reactions as to “how could she leave me for him”, etc. I try to explain the ‘fog’ but they don’t get to and make strong judgments. I realize this A and DV aren’t really about the OM, but you can’t tell the observers that. I just know I’ll get blamed for this (I get blamed for everything) but hey, the child in me likes that a good shot got in on my behalf: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
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To OM:
Congratulations! You just destroyed a family. I hope you’re proud. Our friends WW & BS were together for 20 years. 20 years! Despite what she may have told you to keep you coming to her bed, their marriage had a chance. They were best friends. We’ve watched WW and BS struggle and make great changes to make their marriage work, but your lusts and compulsions were too much of an interference.
You gave ultimatums to a married woman to leave her home, end her friendships, and risk her financial security to be with you. You turned a woman against almost everyone who actually cares about her. Results? Her family/friends are divided. Her children (2 & 5) are distressed. Her husband is abandoned. Her reputation (esp. among her professional colleagues) is damaged. She’s become a paranoid, haggard, bitter, and desperate pariah, addicted to lies and obsessed with you. All in the name of what you call love.
WW has put her life on the line for your promise of commitment. How can you demand commitment when you participated in destroying the greatest commitment in human society? How can you expect honesty from someone with whom you’ve crafted lies? If your ex is a “b**h’ for what she did to you, how is WW any different? Divorce has been great for you. Kids every other weekend, travel at taxpayers’ expense, women, money, and parties at your townhouse, drinks all around. Just because you’re not a man who lives for the everyday experience of being with his family, how dare you threaten that for another? Your willingness to move to Florida doesn’t make you noble. Your marriage to WW will be as much of a disaster as your first marriage--you go in not only blind, but due a karmic payback of giant proportions.
I can’t believe you can have a 2 year, extramarital affair on the U.S. government’s dime, actively break up a family, two-time a woman who just sacrificed her life for you, and be able to live with yourself. All you seem to care about is WW’s a** and ‘winning’ this ‘war’. Well, my friends’ son is already crying about mommy and daddy’s separation, a good man was almost broken and a good woman thrown into chaos. Does your insurance cover family therapy?
But you know what? Pushing BS was the best thing to happen for that family. We thought that this affair and resulting divorce would destroy him, but is spiritual strength and clarity is astonishing. He’s standing for his family, and succeeding. He has, over the months, encouraged us to understand this situation, remain loving, and pray for WW (easier for some than for others). That divorce decree no more ends his commitment than the marriage license created it. He understands faith in a way your actions show you can’t. He is also the smartest, man I know, and we’re beginning to understand his composure. He predicted in April how this would play out. He knew WW would do anything to have you and you would do anything to win (but not get caught). He subsequently set out to prepare a ‘soft place to land’ for himself and his boys. He is not happy about your machinations, but said that all this and what will follow needs to happen. He’s also done something you could never do; he’s forgiving WW. THAT’S real love, OM, faithful actions, rather than fleeting feelings, Amar Sin Mentiras: ``To Love Without Lies''.
Most of us aren’t that disciplined. We begged him to show WW the stuff his private investigator uncovered about you. We told him to convince your friend Michael C****y. to clue her in. Even his counselors encouraged him to pursue a course that would expose this fantasy you’ve sold. His answer? “She believes no one but him”, but “Time will tell and God will judge”. I’ve, however, seen some of the stuff his folks collected. How distorted, to call a man at his job to tell him to leave his own wife alone! You never once said you loved WW or took ownership of your role in the affair. “It’s WW’s fault”, you said. Pitiful. I hear you’ve told WW that BS is dangerous. What have you done to protect her? How could you let the woman you say you love live in a house with a so called ‘dangerous, psychotic’ for months on end? You had to know he knew every time you were here. Why not keep WW with you at those times? PATHETIC.
WW now calls BS’s acuity and committed love brainwashing, manipulation and obsession. Your words, put into her head. Yet you talk to her 2-3 hours a day and write hundreds of letters and e-mails to her (how do you get your job done?). You’re the one who needs to hear I ‘love you’ in every conversation. Her recent actions demonstrate she can’t even make simple decisions without you. Kettle, meet the pot.
We want you to know that there is a community down here in Home Town that loves WW and will always be there for her, despite what she believes right now. People who she may never speak to again are praying for her happiness and healing. We also support BS and his efforts. Many of us are committed to stand for them in light of any action (legal or otherwise) taken to secure their future. We are men and women outraged by these acts of outlandish selfishness, but emboldened to protect those two boys you have chosen to harm. WW will awaken in a couple of years to the deal she made. (unless you dump her first for one of your Janet look-alikes) Your sons will get even less of their father. WW says you make her feel like she did when she was in high school. God help you when she grows up and graduates. You’re so arrogant, though, that you will step into this quagmire just to prove us wrong.
Perhaps you did all of you a favor. WW gets to finally see the other side of the fence she thinks is so appealing. BS responded to all this by returning to his true self. We, their friends, get to see the difference between lust, love, and commitment. You, who do not know God, will find that the laws He created for His universe can’t be circumvented.
Are you ready for the long haul, Mr. OM? I saw WW recently; she looks terrible (you can’t see the difference, as she musters up everything she has to look presentable to you). Will you be by her side when her vaunted beauty fades and the hot sex cools? What happens when your “Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn relationship” takes root in the real world? Is your lust greater than our faith? Are you ready to stand up to a stander? Maybe BS’s right; you’re not worth the effort. He says the more you are attacked, the more WW will run to protect you. The ‘Romeo & Juliet Effect’ he calls it. Well as for me, I call it as I see it: YOU are the problem. You’re an invader, no better than those your department are sworn to protect us from. A domestic terrorist of families. Perhaps you should design a training module to prepare spouses against cads like you. Remember: “Be not deceived, God is not mocked. You shall reap what you sow.”
-The Village
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Brutal, eh? What do you think will happen when his folks at work read this? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <small>[ August 18, 2004, 01:21 AM: Message edited by: dleightonc ]</small>
