Hi. Have been trying to reach you.

Sadly, I have seen Mom over on the pregnancy board. Things are not going well for Mom. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Does that mean that OW is pregnant?

Yep, OW is pregnant, but mom posted today, and dad put it his input. Sounds like he is waking up.

How sad --

I roomed with a woman once who decided not to use birth control pills in the hope of getting her not-yet-divorced-but-separated-for-seven-years boyfriend to make a commitment to her.

But she never did get pregnant, and he dumped her. OW's bought herself a lot of trouble by what she's done, if the action was deliberate deception on her part to get dad to be with her instead of mom.
Cherished

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>

It's just SICK!

I read all her posts over there wondering how things were going myself.Not only do I hear a lot of manipulation on dad's part, not to mention indecision,but I also see exactly what I told her would happen before she left this board and it turns my stomach!

It is just a sickening display of pain and abuse that I would really D dad if I were mom.There is no way she will ever get peace with a man that is going to be attached to the treacherous OW now that she is pregnant.Like KT said over on the preg board and I said before,he will always be tied to her and the OC,eternally now.

The only way I could see having peace in my life and happiness is to cut off dad and all his BS(yes that is bull****).She could be a single parent,work on herself,get assitance with the boys,be free of the manipulator and his waffling and also be free of OW and OC.If she stays with him and does what he wants which is for mom to accept OC and be part of the family(gag) then she will forever be giving up her rights to happiness in place of what dad has given to her: pain,humiliation,lies,less financial stability,more pain due to OW and an OC and so much more.It would be different if he was 100% committed to mom and the boys,who rightly deserve FIRST place attention but he is just as undecided and is still using mom and seeing the OW because he can't make up his da** mind! Grrr.

JMVHO.

O

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 06:39 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

OW has shown her true colors and is convincing Dad that he belongs with her. A little longer and I think it very possible Dad will wake up to what a mess he has created for her and his children.
Cherished

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 07:16 PM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>

Let's see...... back in May mom said she was going to kick him out..... this is now August, he's still home. Contact with OW still raging?

What's his reason to stop? This WS thinks he knows better than most. His confused WS feelings are getting in the way of his better judgement and his pride is keeping him from cooperating.

Mom23boys has given him ample opportunity to turn around. If he doesn't start showing some moxy and meeting his family's needs (cut off all contact with OW and whatever else Mom asks for regarding ending this A stuff), then one just has to wonder why?!?!?!?

The fog rolls thick down yonder. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

L.

Well, l look for her everyday on here and I just hope to God she is ok. I feel for her and her little boys. They have all been through hell enough.

Didn't she boot him out when she discovered he was in contact with OW?

Hi there my friends! Thanks for wondering abvout me! I will giv eyou all a complete update! believer, how have you been trying to reach me?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> Yep, OW is pregnant, but mom posted today, and dad put it his input. Sounds like he is waking up. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Let me start with this one here! YES, dad is waking up...but not enough..he refuses to stop calling the OW...and I am just not going to live this life any longer!

Let me go back to May when Orchid is talking about. After the MB weekend, on Mothers Day I kicked dad out. went into Plan B for about 10 days...he ended the A, but OW called him and within 5 hours and he was back into it...

then we were supposed to go on a family camping trip in June...I kicked him out again and did not let him go with us...I then let him meet us up there if he ended the A...which he did...When we got back, he refused to give me his pager and phone. OW called him several times that night in the ER. I found out and he was out of the house. Back in later that week.

Everything was going VERY WELL! We were living our lives. He gave me his pager, we switched phones all was good. OW called him so many times, it was pathetic. Then on July 3 I was at the movies with my boys watching harry Potter when the pager went off...it was her. I ignored it. It went off again. I ignored it. Then on Monday morning I called H at work to give him a page and he sounded a bit distressed. I said "what's wrong" he said nothing...I said "you calle dher didn't you" he said "no it is much worse than that" I said "what" he said "she's pregnant"...the phone literally flew out of my hand. I could not hold onto it.

He called me back and said for me to calm down. he said "I AM NOT leaving you...I LOVE YOU" I was hysterical.
I was scheduled for elective surgery on July 8, 3 days later. Many people told me to cancel it...but I decided to go ahead and do it...This was for ME...I WANTED this surgery soooo badly...I WAS NOT going to let that OW bi*** take this away from me....

So I have my surgery, H has his pager and phone back. the phone calls have gotten more frequent. OW kept saying she was going to have an abortion. Her car broke down...then she just couldn't go thru with it...this was a bond between them...now she claims to be having cramping and spotting!

I told H earlier last week that he could stay until today and then he was out of here. He admittingly says he cannot stop calling the OW, but that he insists that he loves me very much. He is more than comitted to me, but he is addicted to HER. I refuse to live in this hell hole any longer.

I have gone back and forth with this OC thing. One minute I think I can handle visitaion,...but then with that comes OW..NO WAY!

He didnt' think I was serious about kicking him out today...well, I was...he got all of his stuff and loaded it in the car...

Then he BEGGED me to let him stay. He said he "loves me so much" he has realized that and he is so bonded with me and the kids now. I told him that he doesn't love me enough to stop talking to OW. I asked him to call her right then and tell her to never call him and he wouldn't do it. he begged me to let him stay.

I have become such an angry person, so bitter at him, so unhappy...I ask him daily if he wants that from me and he says NO...I told him that I am the only one who can protect myself right now and I am choosing to remove myself from this situation and to live a normal life again.


Maybe someday he will "get it"...We started counselling and it was going very well...H really likes her and so do I. Actually, she told me not to kick him out, butr I just cant deal with this pain anymore! I cant do it. I do not like the person I have become because of this daily torture.

So that is the update in a nutshell!

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 08:50 PM: Message edited by: momto3boys ]</small>

Mom, I'm so glad you posted. I think about you often and look for your name here. I for one am glad you kicked your H out. He is pathetic. Saying he loves you, yet refusing to call her and cut it off. You have been dealing with more hell than I could ever imagine being capable of dealing with. You are one strong, beautiful, loving woman. I mean it. YOU deserve better than this emotionally sick H. Your IC might want you to hold out, but only you know what you can take. Please know that I am sending prayers and hugs your way, and to your boys too. CV

I think you are doing the right thing mom. You had your answer there and then when he would not call her and say no contact when he was beggibng to stay.

Stay strong this time mom. You might have been able to deal even with the OC IF your H had been willing to go NC with OW and support you foremost rather than the OW.

While he maintains contact recovery for you will not occur. Your love for H is being destroyed. Go dark and protect yourself as much as you can from this pain.

I don't know whether you Marriage will recover or not, but if it has any chance I think your H needs to learn that if he wants you in his life, the OW has to go.
C&S

Good for you! The fog has lifted for you, too! You have choices to make, too. Thanks for the update.
Cherished

CV, I have actually been posting over in PG. But when i saw that believer was trying to reach me, I thought I would post here on this thread!

H called me last night asking me if I was happy? He then went on to say he was going to call her in front of me...Funny how it takes him actually leaving the house and moving into the hel hole apt he has in the back of his office to "wake up" a bit!

I dont buy it! I also have a hard time believing this OW is even pregnant. She has not made an appt to see an OB/GYN yet? Ladies, when you found out you were pregnant, did you not make your appt immediately to make sure all was ok and to get the proper care, blood work done, etc? Come on? This woman is crazy!

I dont know what is going to happen to my M, but I do know I will not tolerate that OW in it any longer!

M23B,
Good for you !
Make him prove it.
Make him come to you with a POJA that YOU accept.
NC, NC, NC, NC, NC.
He doesn't even have to have contact with her if a child is born and IS his.
NC, NC, NC, NC, NC.
No more, that's it.
Make him do anything and everything necessary until YOU feel he's worthy of you and his family.
He's fallen off the wagon too many times.
I've posted to you over on the PG board. I hope you find my post. I'm always thinking of you.

Stay strong M23B.

Good for you Momto3Boys!

I like hearing how strong a stand you are taking.

I believe you need to do this for your own sanity as well as for the good of preserving the integrity of your family.

No more OW.

Thank you so much for al the continued support you guys keep giving me! I trully appreciate it!

That's just it though! He HAS fallen off the wagon soooooooooo many times! This OW doesn't give a rats A$$ about me or my boys...in her eyes, I dont even exist! He is not even married. She doesn't care...She will take him married or not...and even if he does call her and say it is over, she will do ANYTHING to keep him.

Yes, I DO want to fix my marriage...DAD has honestly showed me in the past 6 weeks that he does love me and I belive him...He has been sooooo good to me. After my surgery, he did so much for me...he took such great care of me! He still is taking good care of me! I do believe he does love me! He just cant give up this OW...I think it is more of a habit than anything for him... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

How many times is he going to end it with her calling him and gong out of her way to get him back! She doesn't care that he is married! She doesn't care about me! she wants what I have and that is my H...and it makes me sick that now she thinks she has him for good.

Here's what I think... no holds barred. If you're not feeling up to a little tough-love, skip my post!!!!

Ready?

I think the Dr. would like a polygamous lifestyle.

If he had his fondest wish come true ... he could keep you both and have both of you feel happy and content that HE was getting everything he wanted in life. Two women. Two families.

He loves you .... he also loves her and her (maybe) baby.

Truth sucks sometimes.

He's not willing to sacrifice what he wants for the greater good of YOUR FAMILY.

He wants both of you. He does love you as a part of HIS LIFE. And he wants OW as a part of HIS LIFE as well.

Is this what you want? His narcisism is rampant and all-controlling of his choices.

It is all about him, his desires, his wants, his needs.... polygamy suits him just fine.

End of rant.

Pep

Pep, you hit the nail on the head, as always! YUP, dad will admit that he wants both of us...he will tell me he loves me and wants to work on the marriage BUT that he wants to keep calling OW.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

hmmm, work on the marriage? and how do we do that dear with an OW stuck in the middle of us? will this man ever "get it"? Will this man ever realize that what he is doing is WRONG?

You know what my DS8 asked us the other day...he said "why cant daddy just have two wives?" The poor child wants to do anything to make this all go away..anything, even if it means for daddy to have two wives <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

my DS8 throws up all the time cuz of the continued stress this is causing him...Dad just doesn't see the pain he is causing us!

So, why hasn't this OW made her appt to see a DR? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />